Wild Minds network2024-03-29T15:58:25Zjessicahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/jessicahttps://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/8121826900?profile=RESIZE_180x180&width=48&height=48&crop=1%3A1https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topic/listForContributor?user=380521hyu0y94&feed=yes&xn_auth=noParallel Lives, MD Podcast, back for season 4... also we need a guesttag:wildminds.ning.com,2024-03-18:4661400:Topic:4329262024-03-18T14:55:48.779Zjessicahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/jessica
<p>Hey Guys, The podcast is back up for a season 4. Here's a link to the first episode. We'll try to get episodes out on the 1st and 15th as usual, but this season might be choppy as I'm pregnant with twins and frequently an absolute mess lol. Like, sub, follow, comment, all the social buttons wherever you are. <br></br><br></br>Oh! And we're looking for a guest to talk about the evolution of MD with. Someone who has been a part of the community for a long time, we wanted to talk about how MD as a…</p>
<p>Hey Guys, The podcast is back up for a season 4. Here's a link to the first episode. We'll try to get episodes out on the 1st and 15th as usual, but this season might be choppy as I'm pregnant with twins and frequently an absolute mess lol. Like, sub, follow, comment, all the social buttons wherever you are. <br/><br/>Oh! And we're looking for a guest to talk about the evolution of MD with. Someone who has been a part of the community for a long time, we wanted to talk about how MD as a concept has changed over time, and how the culture of our communities has changed over time. If you fit the description, or know of someone who does, let me know!<br/><br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDIGXNeNWj8&t=1887s">Talking Jung with Psychoanalyst Susan Meindl (youtube.com)</a></p> My storytag:wildminds.ning.com,2024-03-13:4661400:Topic:4328152024-03-13T16:35:25.965Zjessicahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/jessica
Hello people, how are you?<br />
My name is Gabrielle and I'm 20 years old and today I finally decided to let it all out and tell my story.<br />
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Come on, my daydreams started when I was a child, imagining that I was dating the football player I liked, my favorite singer... and then I had imaginary boyfriends who changed according to my tastes. At school I had friends and I got along very well with them, but there were also those girls who were popular and I wanted to be like them, so when I got home I…
Hello people, how are you?<br />
My name is Gabrielle and I'm 20 years old and today I finally decided to let it all out and tell my story.<br />
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Come on, my daydreams started when I was a child, imagining that I was dating the football player I liked, my favorite singer... and then I had imaginary boyfriends who changed according to my tastes. At school I had friends and I got along very well with them, but there were also those girls who were popular and I wanted to be like them, so when I got home I lost myself imagining what it would be like if I were popular like them and this remained permanent throughout throughout the school period: kindergarten, elementary school and high school. In the second and third year of high school I "lost" my friends because we were in different classes and they met other friends while I was left without any friends.<br />
And it was at that moment that my daydreams became stronger. Throughout the pandemic I didn't leave the house, except to go to appointments. I was always shy, embarrassed, quiet and introverted and staying at home without having contact with anyone was like a dream for me. But this had consequences; When I went back to school I didn't know how to interact with anyone anymore, I didn't make any friends, and I hated it when the classroom was crowded, I just wanted to be alone. After I finished high school I didn't go to college or get a job because I was too busy fantasizing about things that would never happen. When I was 19 my mother got a job at a fair and on the one hand it was good because I interacted more with people and I became confident, on the other hand my bosses were blind until the day I couldn't stand it and left this job that was already making me feel good. bad. And during this period I also "got" a job as a nanny and it's not a job I like either since the children don't respect me and I don't know how to deal with children but at least I can deal with it.<br />
Returning to the daydreams, they also got much worse after I discovered Wattpad and dark romance books. I don't need to say much about what happened, I kept fantasizing in the character's place, interacting with the characters, changing the story, inventing a new story with the same characters... and for me that was very real because I felt what the character felt, I was happy, I cried, I was angry.<br />
And the consequence of all this is: nowadays I have a serious problem with procrastination, I can't finish anything I start, I can't concentrate and focus, my confidence and self-esteem are on the rocks, I can't talk to people, no I know what I want and I don't even know what I am, I have a job that I don't like, I live in a place that I don't like and for a long time I stopped dreaming and wanting things like having a better life. Lately I've been having problems with my stepfather and the good side of that is that I'm becoming more aware of reality, I'm a little more in the present and I'm dreaming more about studying, working and being independent.<br />
But the problem is that my procrastination and daydreams get in the way of this, I become very inattentive.<br />
I'm going to use this support group here to record my small progress against daydreams. And side note: I was both relieved and concerned to know that I'm not the only person who has trouble with maladaptive daydreaming. I am going to quit MD for good.tag:wildminds.ning.com,2024-03-06:4661400:Topic:4326582024-03-06T23:11:31.172Zjessicahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/jessica
<p>I have daydreamed my whole life, and it has made me underachieve so much. If I could focus for even a few minutes I could actually accomplish things but I can't even do that. I waste so much time daydreaming. It has made me so miserable, and I hate it. I have daydreamed today for probably around 3-3.5 hrs alone. I am going to keep myself accountable through this forum and post daily about how much I have daydreamed. Ideally I just keep getting better slowly and through time I will decrease…</p>
<p>I have daydreamed my whole life, and it has made me underachieve so much. If I could focus for even a few minutes I could actually accomplish things but I can't even do that. I waste so much time daydreaming. It has made me so miserable, and I hate it. I have daydreamed today for probably around 3-3.5 hrs alone. I am going to keep myself accountable through this forum and post daily about how much I have daydreamed. Ideally I just keep getting better slowly and through time I will decrease my daydream time.</p>
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<p>If you have any tips or words of advice that would be great. </p> Digging myself in deep with daydreamingtag:wildminds.ning.com,2024-02-16:4661400:Topic:4325292024-02-16T17:16:13.448Zjessicahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/jessica
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<p>Unsure if I was foolish towards life. I'm a neurodivergent who is naturally a daydreamer from birth. I always wanted a life of friends and relationships that never was. Well, I seem to affect people to an extent they don't like me, get unpleasant, and start cursing, snapping and yelling at me, like I'm being the jerk. I didn't grow up learning any valuable social skills and hardly interacted, always kept to myself in my own head, living in fictional worlds, but not waking up to life…</p>
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<p>Unsure if I was foolish towards life. I'm a neurodivergent who is naturally a daydreamer from birth. I always wanted a life of friends and relationships that never was. Well, I seem to affect people to an extent they don't like me, get unpleasant, and start cursing, snapping and yelling at me, like I'm being the jerk. I didn't grow up learning any valuable social skills and hardly interacted, always kept to myself in my own head, living in fictional worlds, but not waking up to life and paying attention to real people. Being an atypical, I struggle with social interaction and communication, but daydreaming seems to add fuel to the fire. I just lose the ability to make friends and form relationships. Maybe they feel like I'm not interested in them or I'm ignoring them or I don't care, and I'm being al bitch with a serious attitude problem. Like, maybe they find me cold and hostile. But on the inside, I'm just innocently daydreaming and contemplating life, enjoying the music, motions, and visuals weaving in my mind, minute by minute. I've even had people who found out what I'm doing, and they're like "Hello?!" I always found myself this rare case that nobody gets, and they think I got a problem. They just don't know what to make of me. <br/><br/>I grew up in a small town, where the kids were very average. I couldn't fit in, because I was different and gifted. I got bullied and withdrawn from crowds, making very few close friends. Never been on a date. In my early teens I began MD, and it not only effected my grades, but my social life.My point is, I was just making my life HOTTER being who I truly was. I was probably around the wrong type of crowds, but they didn't buy it, and wanted to stay away from me. Eventually my family found out, and didn't open up to my MD life all the same. As an adult, everybody got angry and frustrated that I wasn't listening to them and understanding what goes on in the world and other people's lives. I struggled with my verbal skills, so everybody assumed I was very tired and having a rough-going day. <br/><br/>Point is with MD, it makes you think things will get better—when really, it gives you false notions of feeling better, but it doesn't compare to what's really going on around you, and how you affect the ones you love.</p> MD and Real Life's responsestag:wildminds.ning.com,2024-02-07:4661400:Topic:4321712024-02-07T23:07:06.915Zjessicahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/jessica
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<p>Has maladaptive daydreaming gave you so much hope and assures you things. But real life keeps biting back you in the ass—like fuck? It throws you off guard to an extent you're mad at yourself for being so foolish and unaware of what's really going on around you. You wanted aspects of you life to look like MD, and it just doesn't. You want friends and relationships, when really, it's hard to find great people who like you. Or people get you the wrong way, and throw it in your…</p>
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<p>Has maladaptive daydreaming gave you so much hope and assures you things. But real life keeps biting back you in the ass—like fuck? It throws you off guard to an extent you're mad at yourself for being so foolish and unaware of what's really going on around you. You wanted aspects of you life to look like MD, and it just doesn't. You want friends and relationships, when really, it's hard to find great people who like you. Or people get you the wrong way, and throw it in your face...and you're unprepared for it. I find my MD just gets angrier when I deal with people who aren't nice to me. And then they're like, "What are you doing<em>?! </em>What's out there doesn't look like your imaginary friends or your inner ambitions. </p> utilizing daydreams for good?tag:wildminds.ning.com,2023-12-24:4661400:Topic:4317352023-12-24T00:41:55.513Zjessicahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/jessica
<p>Hi everyone; I've been an immersive daydreamer since I was a kid. I'd say it turned maladaptive when I developed social anxiety: I used it as a way to have a life (in my head), but over time realized that it was keeping me from having a real life & enabling/reinforcing my anxiety-driven habits. I wasn't fulfilling my goals, just daydreaming them. </p>
<p>My daydreaming in the maladaptive way has gotten better with time. The fuller my real life has become, the less I have felt the need to…</p>
<p>Hi everyone; I've been an immersive daydreamer since I was a kid. I'd say it turned maladaptive when I developed social anxiety: I used it as a way to have a life (in my head), but over time realized that it was keeping me from having a real life & enabling/reinforcing my anxiety-driven habits. I wasn't fulfilling my goals, just daydreaming them. </p>
<p>My daydreaming in the maladaptive way has gotten better with time. The fuller my real life has become, the less I have felt the need to daydream as a coping mechanism (not that this just happened on it's own without effort, but tldr). However, I made a decision along the way that I am wondering if anyone else has done, or if anyone has done something along the same lines: </p>
<p>When I made peace with the fact that giving up immersive daydreaming was a battle I didn't want to fight (it feels like a core part of my identity), I decided I needed to find a way to incorporate it in my life in a positive way. I had always wanted to be more fit, & would try to run distance, but had trouble with motivation (jogging is boring by itself lol). </p>
<p>I gave myself permission to daydream in the context of running. I blast my favorite movie soundtracks and whatever other music I'm feeling that fits the vibe of the daydream, and it turned running from the most dreaded task into something I genuinely look forward to at the end of the day. </p>
<p>Not to say I never daydream in other settings, and that it is never, ever maladaptive (because lets be honest, it's easy to fall into), or even that I immediately fell in love with running; but it really has helped a lot. Having a healthy outlet has been a good way for me to separate it from the attention I need to be giving my own life; and I was also able to utilize it in fulfilling one of my goals. </p>
<p>TLDR: I'm wondering if anyone else has found a way to incorporate their immersive daydreaming and utilize it so it's more "adaptive" than "maladaptive?" I guess I no longer see my immersive daydreaming as the enemy, although it once was something I was absolutely addicted to, taking over my life. </p>
<p>Thoughts? </p> Sorry to intrude - question for MD'erstag:wildminds.ning.com,2023-12-05:4661400:Topic:4312462023-12-05T14:57:36.053Zjessicahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/jessica
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<p>My mother was an MD'er (I found our through her journals). After piecing her whole life struggle together I wrote the following blurb about her. Basically I tried to drill down to what I thought was her ROOT issue to look at. </p>
<p>Does anyone else who is an MD'er feel connected to anything below? Just curious if my mother's MD was just a symptom of a larger issue or was MD the root...</p>
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<p>I am addicted to dependency. Nothing my partners have ever heard me say or seen…</p>
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<p>My mother was an MD'er (I found our through her journals). After piecing her whole life struggle together I wrote the following blurb about her. Basically I tried to drill down to what I thought was her ROOT issue to look at. </p>
<p>Does anyone else who is an MD'er feel connected to anything below? Just curious if my mother's MD was just a symptom of a larger issue or was MD the root...</p>
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<p>I am addicted to dependency. Nothing my partners have ever heard me say or seen me do can be trusted as representing my true motives. My true motive is to use people to keep myself taken care of. I want my needs to be met by other people and I will use anybody who is stupid enough to fall for it to get it. It makes me hate my partners. They are stupid and weak. I hate that I have to play a monkey and song dance to keep my position with my partners. I have built up lots of anger because of this game and there are times it just needs to come out. I know every time I am pushed to be more responsible and independent, I will set out to sabotage that and create a story of why it wasn’t my fault. It is all part of the game. And I know that each time my anger breaks to the surface and we do a sorry/forgive cycle it makes it that much harder to maintain my position next time my anger comes out, which causes more anger. My relationships are doomed from the start because I am going about them all wrong. </p>
<p>While I appear to be intelligent and capable, I am too sick to be in any relationship. </p>
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<p></p> Copingtag:wildminds.ning.com,2023-11-01:4661400:Topic:4308512023-11-01T21:29:44.361Zjessicahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/jessica
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<p>I used to cope with my loneliness by doing MD—but it strikes me, if I hadn't started MD and learned to socialize like people do, even if it means watching them, I probably would've been a happier person today. Becoming a young adult I was so excited towards life and forming relationships with people, so my maladaptive daydreams induced my mind to feel happy towards something I wanted to fulfill. There is a twist to this. MD was not helping me, it was doing the contrary. It was…</p>
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<p>I used to cope with my loneliness by doing MD—but it strikes me, if I hadn't started MD and learned to socialize like people do, even if it means watching them, I probably would've been a happier person today. Becoming a young adult I was so excited towards life and forming relationships with people, so my maladaptive daydreams induced my mind to feel happy towards something I wanted to fulfill. There is a twist to this. MD was not helping me, it was doing the contrary. It was pulling me away from what I wanted to achieve, not only this, it made me extremely quiet and far-off looking on the outside, drawing unwelcome attention that I didn't need. I made people infuriated to be around me and not want to be my friend. They thought I had a big problem, wondered if I was smart and if I could talk. Above all, they wondered where my head was. People would interact and carry a conversation, but I would keep quiet and think deep thoughts, even be somewhere else. Looking all deaf and mute to them, and taking a trip to mars. It prevented me from looking like a very likeable and attractive person who can bond with people. </p> Lost Hopestag:wildminds.ning.com,2023-10-27:4661400:Topic:4307752023-10-27T20:38:32.147Zjessicahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/jessica
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<p>Crazy as it sounds. I slept, worked and dwelled in a bedroom for 31 years since I was 6. Never moved out, was never professionally successful. Crazier, I never experienced having a real relationship with anybody. When I first lived in the area, I saw it as a portal of hope and fulfillment. I was hoping to make a close circle of friends and experience life in a good way, travel places, make something of myself. This did not come to fruition. I had a big problem with living a daydream…</p>
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<p>Crazy as it sounds. I slept, worked and dwelled in a bedroom for 31 years since I was 6. Never moved out, was never professionally successful. Crazier, I never experienced having a real relationship with anybody. When I first lived in the area, I saw it as a portal of hope and fulfillment. I was hoping to make a close circle of friends and experience life in a good way, travel places, make something of myself. This did not come to fruition. I had a big problem with living a daydream life on an everyday basis. It got stronger on me, and took over my life. I never felt a deep connection with any person I've ever met in town—felt weird and unrelated to them. I was so different and exceptional and everybody else was ordinary as wood. So I didn't make any friends. People there even encountered my daydream life, and found me some kind of outlandish weird-y. To be honest, I've only been a date twice in my life. I was an extremely quiet and timid person who most times was a million miles away. I was such a dreamer, that it distracted me from excelling in all aspects in life. It somehow effected my ability to properly adapt into the world. When I came of age, I wanted to get out in the world and start a career, and that didn't run smoothly either. I was disabled with this daydreaming problem and didn't speak very much, making look so stupid and unable to work. So I was very hard to earn my independence and live my own life. Before I knew it, I have lived in a town for 31 years, not moving on and getting out there, not being professionally successful and never found a mutual bonding with someone. Like a lost cause. <br/>I realize what I did all my life was "maladaptive," which must've slowed my growth and development, causing me to look like a big baby, in spite I'm highly intelligent, artistic and talented. I just can't seem to perform right in all these work environments. I'm getting ridiculously too old for this shit. <br/><br/>I must admit I was entitled in my 20's. I'm a millennial. I took up college courses that didn't really help my future and guarantee I'd make money. Expected everything to land on my lap like magic. Hoped to meet my true love someday and get a house. Nope. None of this happened. As if nobody cared, all except me, like wasn't ever heard or seen. I really should've spoken up, but I didn't. Even if I tried to exert a point, I might've went through a load of people who didn't like me as a person. It taught me that I'm not special anymore than the next person. My dad gave me valuable advice since a teen, get experience, go out there and look, get involved, make friends, test waters etc. I was stubborn, just wanted to dream all day. Sat in my room reading, surfing, studying, journaling—but didn't ever pay attention to people. Let's face it I'm unmistakably an introvert. Everybody else I know had zero problems making their dreams come true, make so many friends, got married, had kids, found homes, found their dream career, traveled, lived their lives accordingly. I look at myself and wonder, what's going on with me? Then I realize that all that time I was engulfed in maladaptive daydreaming—they were probably doing the right things for themselves, growing up and sorting out their lives...and not daydreaming. Why am I surprised? Doy! It's just sad what we don't realize, when we're buried in our head of fantasies. </p>
<p></p> Transformationtag:wildminds.ning.com,2023-10-19:4661400:Topic:4306552023-10-19T19:50:52.068Zjessicahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/jessica
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<p>I'm going through a transformation as of now. I've been feeling wonky, aimless and not myself. I usually face daily habits that don't serve me well. Today I feel like I'm suddenly somebody new. I look at my old habits and ritual—and I cringe. I notice what kind of worlds I've lived in for so long.These worlds used to captivate my imagination, but now I seem to be growing up and facing the music—real life just doesn't appear like our fantasies. <br></br><br></br>Recently, my body has been…</p>
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<p>I'm going through a transformation as of now. I've been feeling wonky, aimless and not myself. I usually face daily habits that don't serve me well. Today I feel like I'm suddenly somebody new. I look at my old habits and ritual—and I cringe. I notice what kind of worlds I've lived in for so long.These worlds used to captivate my imagination, but now I seem to be growing up and facing the music—real life just doesn't appear like our fantasies. <br/><br/>Recently, my body has been feeling eeirly nervous, for no reason, to an extent it almost prevented me from standing. Waking up in the mornings is extremely uncomfortable, I can't seem to get my shit together until mid afternoon. Just now, I feel blissfully at peace with myself, and a wave of relief is over me, like I get a hunch things will be OK. I certainly hope so. My body talks to me and just knows things, like it's got a life of it's own. <br/><br/>I just have a tough love relationship with my parents right now. They know for sure that I daydream everyday, and I need to wake up to life. They want me to succeed in a profession that I enjoy. Currently, I'm aggravate that I still can't find a job. I've tried a range of strategies and it stall falls down. Let's face it, it's a hard knock world today. We all need to chill, care for ourselves, not break our heads and panic up about things we can't change over night, not matter how demanding our parents are. <br/><br/>Sometimes we all have to start over, learn from our big downfalls. I picked a career that was wrong and challenging for me. Now I might have to retrain and start from scratch, even if it takes a year. I never thought in my late 30's, I'd still be wonder what I want to do with my life. I often blame my fantasizing on the poor decisions I made in my youth. I just hope for a resolution, that's all. </p>