Question

[David Burkett]

I am 35 years old and it looks like I am in the same boat as alot of you other guys who just stumbled upon this word maladaptive daydreaming and I am so blown away how Googling the words pacing and whispering was the clue that just cracked the entire case to explaining every detail of my entire life! I was expecting to see possibilities of anxiety or stress or panic attack. I have been seeing a therapist regarding me being antisocial, standoffish and quiet my whole life and not showing any personality. I very very briefly threw in there that I pace, whisper, and make gestures when I am alone or out of sight. That short remark that i just made was the clue to crack this whole case! He has never heard of MD throughout his 20years of study in this profession, so he saw no correlation with that description and just continued on with his normal routine. My personlity I described caused him to say, "So its like you're there, but not there" I just decided to Google the words pacing and BOOM! Come to think of it, the feelings that cause me to pace are feeling of joy and excitement from the daydream usually regarding music/movies books etc, and very rarily regarding any bad emotions. Now this explains why my kindergarten teacher told my mom that I might be autistic. She saw my "triggers". I would visualize an action or adventure sequence in my mind and would enact it. I guess we learn to hide these things better the older we get. This explains why I have trouble staying focused. I have selective listening and tune out what doesn't interest me. People have said that I might be A.D.D. This explains why I stare into space especially around groups of people. My high school classmates brought it to my attention that for some reason I am always walking alone in the hallways at a fast pace and I'm staring into space and everyday I sit in the midst of different a social groups in the cafeteria and stare into space and don't talk. This explaines why I couldn't stop giggling when nothing funny is happening. I've had a few teachers call me out on it when it disrupts the class. This explains these constant rapid body movements that i still do when I am sitting around visiting the family. Most of this stuff I would not have noticed if people didn't bring it to my attention. Most of my energy, personality and self expression is going into my daydreams! I have replaced the real world with dreamworld! It's like I'm in the matrix but I'm not hooked up to that chair. I can actually perform what's needed of me in the real world, and that is all i put into it because I rather be in the matrix. Here is my question... can we bring the matrix to the real world?