Where wild minds come to rest
In high school, I had trouble fitting in and making friends, but could have succeeded if I had gotten out of my head. I look back at those little years and reflect on how crazy I actually was. Being a teenager, I was too young to realize that Maladaptive Daydreaming is wrong and it will put a significant effect on everything that goes on in my life. Rather I found MDD all fun and radical, making me laugh a lot, because my day dreams were consisted of comedy and exciting journeys.
I remember loitering in a nearly empty hallway, pacing back and forth, staring at the floor, while waiting for class to begin.
The music from 1960's American make, The Time Machine was booming so loudly in my head! I was so enthralled in this music that I allowed it to play in my head for hours at end. Other times, I would sit in class and think of Star Trek, where I'd image what I'd be doing as a lieutenant on board. I would make faces or chuckle...students would turn their heads and comment on my strange 'laughing' smile and how my eyes roll about around in my head or stare right up at the ceiling. Students would be bothered by how I stare intently on certain young people sitting down (only by accident).
I never realized that I was staring at someone while doing MDD. Students have even tried to be my friend and set me on dates, but I was so silent in my mental absence, they found me too boring and frustrated to deal with altogether. So, they sneered and snorted away to their own affairs leaving me to sit there looking all stupid and awkward.
Reflecting on those six years, I wish that I pulled out of myself and opened my eyes to what was really going on around me.
All of my former peers are now in their 30's and have moved away ages ago. I just take forwards these lessons and try my hardest not to do this again.