Where wild minds come to rest
I have no idea what happened...
I am so mortified and stunned and stuff. All I remember is that I've been day dreaming heavily for nearly 20 years.
I had no idea that I had Asperger Syndrome. It made me almost anti-verbal and stuff, couldn't communicate with a dime.
I daydreamed due to 'missing out' and getting frustrated by my realities. Still, it just made me more anti-verbal on people. So, everybody saw the same things. Many totally avoided me...or else they manipulated me...or made me look very bad in public. I had no idea HOW THEY FELT because I was too busy doing MDD in my head AND of course I had Asperger Syndrome—a neurological disorder that impairs the brain to read emotions.
All I remember is at least several years of blank void, not meeting people, doing all sorts of adventurous things and traveling places, all except maybe job interviews and external clientele meetups. I was always stationary at home doing nothing but maladaptive daydreaming while I either freelanced or hunted for new jobs.
Then I realized, due to having AS, I was so 'different' that it wouldn't have mattered if I did MDD. It was hard to relate to many people, because nobody I've ever met anybody who had a Wild Imagination or lived multiple worlds like I did.
Everybody else loved to talk and engage in conversations, whereas I preferred to dwell in my own thoughts. However, I came out as 'cold and antisocial' to most people, so not very many people liked me at all.
I never felt understood and appreciated—and many waved it off and didn't care. Though, it couldn't escape their heads as to why I was 'laughing for nothing', flapping around like a maniac or just seldom talking at all.
It was so hard to chum around with people—because most times they hardly liked me or were very nice in those regards.
In fact, they'd often argued a great deal with me, often sounding snotty, cross and maybe a little sarcastic.
So basically, I spent my whole life beside myself with my special imaginative gift and unusual intelligence.