Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest

I think that I see why now. Why I never got anything I wanted. I never spoke up! I didn't ever socialize. I never got into people's faces. I lived in other worlds. I buried myself away from others.

I mean, if people really want something, they go for it! They talk about it to others. They're socially open and active. Whereas, I was very shy. I am still shy today.

I lost because I went to sleep. Then I was too scared to speak my mind....I didn't do this for a long time.

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Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on August 23, 2017 at 8:08am

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on August 22, 2017 at 6:54am

Thank you for this speech. You are the greatest. I will definitely take your advice from here. You have changed the way I view the world around me.

Comment by Fallen Messenger on August 21, 2017 at 6:59pm

You know, I think your comparing yourself to the wrong people. It's like comparing fire and water- they're completely different. I fall prey to this same self-judgment all the time but recently realized I don't have to subject myself to it. We are all introverts, and you are looking at extroverts. They don't have that shyness that we have, they just go for it. Another thing is, you only are recognizing one side of them to envy. If you want to envy someone, grasp all facets of them, then judge if you want to be like them. Most people who put themselves "out there" have hollow and fake relationships that are all for show. You may not have any irl friends, maybe one or two, but you know those relationships are not dull, they have depth and life to them. Never look at someone and say they are "perfect" because how can any of us possibly compare to perfect? Yes, we are all scared to speak our minds, we don't want to speak up because modern society is so cruel and slow to change. You look and see all these movements for acceptance and think "only if people could accept me" we all think that. We cannot deny that we have thought that. I bet most of us hate ourselves for being "pitiful" or "awkward" or whatever we tell ourselves, but those are just our inner demons comparing us to God. Eh, I don't really know where I'm going with this but I'll wrap this up. We all have our sin. Everyone on this wretched planet has their 'sin'. It doesn't matter what that sin is. For some people it may be a lack of patience or maybe a tendency for violence, but for us. it's us wasting away our days inside our minds. We all recognize this as our 'sin', but most of us fail to see that everyone around us struggles with their own sin. They may hide it or cover it up, but it's still there because NOBODY is perfect. Absolutely no one but God himself. You may envy people around you for being so socially open and active, but that doesn't matter. You are YOU, and you don't have to be someone else to feel 'perfect' because you will NEVER be. Be YOURSELF. heh, oh that cliche advice. Um, I guess don't expect perfection and don't envy others. you are you and be proud of that. most people couldn't get through the kind of life you've gone through. Autism and MD, that's harsh, you must be one heck of a woman, even if you don't think you are. Stay strong, Jessica, show the world that you don't have to be 'perfect' or socially open to awesome!!!

Comment by Renee on August 11, 2017 at 7:20pm

It's not too late.:)

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