Wild Minds Network
Where wild minds come to rest
Did anybody else feel really scared waking up from MDD? How did everybody else experience this? I feel like I got a hell of a lot to make up for.
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When I "wake up" it's like my shield of oblivion is ripped off and I see how distant I truly am from others. It's not a matter of being scared for me, it's a matter of being embarrassed for who I am.
Yeah on Monday, when I realized I had to let got of MDD. It just wasn't the same. It was an interesting world full of movements, magic, colors and music. Almost as if my MDD had a life of it's own. Now I realize that this is truly life on earth. You can't run and you can't hide. Everything REAL just looks as it looks.
I felt depressed and hopeless. I have a terrible feeling of dread that makes me retreat into a daydream when things get overwhelming. The thought of all that time spent and lost...it just makes me want to go numb. I'm working on staying present and letting go of that power fantasy that keeps distracting me from real life. it's so much easier and gratifying to sink into my imagination. I wasted my weekend in this way, and i regret it. So i guess i sometimes feel like i'm just spinning my wheels, that nothing's changed despite my efforts to stop. This is part of my experience waking up from MDD.
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