Where wild minds come to rest
I put this on one of my tumblr blogs a while ago but felt like sharing it here. I didn't think many people here would be able to relate to it as it's to do with my voice hearing/hallucinations but then I figured that perhaps people have similar relationships with daydream characters so here it is-
When I met Scott my life changed dramatically. Before him, anger and denial seemed to be all that resided within me and the self inflicted black hole of doubt had all but engulfed me. I wasn’t quick to trust him but he had a certain quality that was hard to ignore. He seemed energetic and eager and there was a gleam in his crystal blue eyes that was so captivating. There was something about him that was so magnetic it was impossible to try and walk away and it wasn’t long before I ended up relying on him. No matter what problems I brought to the table, whether I was consumed with sorrow or bursting with joy, filled to the brink with rage or lost in the haze of nothingness Scott would smile, lay back and simply listen. Nothing seemed to phase him. He was forever encased in this state of contentment and ease. I saw things differently when I was around him. People didn’t seem so threatening or malevolent anymore and the atmosphere that often hung so heavy and hostile in the air had dissipated and left nothing but peace.
Many times I sat outside the school building with Scott by my side. In those days I rarely spoke to him in public. I was afraid of what people might think or say. However the silence was all we needed at times as it allowed us to just be, to just exist, and in doing so allowed me time to question my existence, his existence. Sometimes we’d get the school bus back to mine or sometimes we would part ways and talk to each other later on. We’d often spend a lot of time hidden in my room and I would share my deepest thoughts and feelings and he would share his and for the first time I felt a powerful bond, a solid connection of equals, where we were no better or worse than one another and we could use each other to grow and learn. I did still feel he was my role model, my older brother, and that I benefited more from his words than he did mine but we felt equal in the way that my views and opinions were never second best or looked down upon nor were my hopes and fears or dreams ever mocked.
However our meaningful friendship hasn’t been without it’s complications or problems. I recall the time we attended a wedding and we both went off to get some air and escape from everyone else. I slumped down in my chair and closed my eyes and began to talk to him only to be disturbed by my mother who asked, rather concerned, “Who are you talking to?”.
“Where did you come from?”
“I don’t know. Somewhere else.”
“Are you real?”
"Yes, at least I believe I am, as much as you believe you are real.”
“Then how come only I can see and hear you?”
“You can only see and hear a lot of things. It’s never stopped you believing.”
“I suppose so.”
And with that my friendship with Scott began and for 7 long years we have observed each other grow, both our physical appearance and our personalities and although I can never drink with my friend at the pub or go bowling, play football or even embrace (at least in this plane of existence) I could never wish for a more better friendship than with my hallucinated, imaginary best friend, Scott.