Where wild minds come to rest
I'm new to the group, and, like everyone else, really just amazed to learn that there are others like me. I'm in my 40's and have had this "habit" since I was three or four years old. Music is my trigger - twirling. MD has been very problematic for me, costing me personally and vocationally. I have deep regret over all of the time that I've wasted in my life. But, I can actually say that now I fantasize less, mainly due to the pain over the realization of the time/opportunities/relationships that have been impacted by my habit. The truth is, I have not grown personally or professionally in the ways that I might have, had I not had this disorder. At it's worst, I was wasting several hours a day, turning down socializing and not fully living up to my responsibilities. Yes, it felt good at the time, but now I am living with some challenging, long term consequences that I didn't intend. Please, if you're young and are reading this, turn outside of yourself with your creative life. Write, draw, paint. Take classes, become curious and purposeful about life lived free from md. Still working on this myself, but these things have helped me, along with time and wisdom. Hoping that some of you will not end up with the regret and guilt that I am coming to terms with; but if you do, forgive yourself, pray and seek help.