Realisation about the ideal me

[Wish Upon A Wish]

You know, I have said many times before that even if I could be in my DD world for real, I wouldn't because Ideal Me goes through to much pain and I couldn't handle that.

But I've realised a few things.

One: Usually when I say no, I'm thinking of the main part of my DDs, which is pretty negative (though there are high points and 'meh' points)

Two: There's also my 'future' DD (okay, both are set in the future but the first is only a few years away, the second maybe 15 years or so away) which is mostly high points with a couple of low points but not really.

And Three: If I was in my DD world then I would actually be Ideal Me, and so would be able to handle the crap, and then it would be worth it in the end because of the experiences of her past and how good her future is.

Plus I admire her a lot. I've never really been good at naming traits or why I like people but in a way I can kind of analyse her better than other people because she's always here and she's me and.... you lot get what I'm on about.

I admire how she can be really level-headed and even cold when she needs to be, or even just wants to be, yet can be so warm and chirpy compared to how I am.

I admire that she's almost as introverted as I am yet has significantly better social skills and (after some chemical accident which messes something in her brain and makes her able to read auras) she's a lot better at understanding people.

I admire how she can just not think of bad things, like that she's had to kill people, and to be honest I admire that she would be willing to break the law for money when she kind of needs it (but she still has morals. I'd be too scared of getting caught to break the law haha)

And I admire how, after all the horrible things she's been through, she can still manage to have kids and be happy in the more distant future daydreams, and doesn't have as many secrets- most of them were shared when she felt it safe. But she doesn't forget.

No. She never forgets. In the back of her mind, there's always the nagging worry that her past will come back to bite her in the arse.

[S K]

Wow, that's an awesome ideal. I found it a bit representative of mine -the distant happy future-mine's more like an ideal-the happily ever after one,the combination of introvert and extrovert and people skills and her ability to handle situations.

But the best part is the ability/knowledge to analyse her, because she is inherently a part of me, my creation and it's like I have compensated all my flaws in creating her.

It's nice to find someone who relates.