Where wild minds come to rest
I do have the symptoms of MDD, but I must admit that I think MDD is a symptom of other mental illnesses like Anxeity, Schziphrenia, ADHD, and possibly aspergers. I think in my case it is anxiety because most of my MDD's are negative thoughts that overcome my mind and my body is overwhelmed and acts out these thoughts. When I was younger I would get caught talking to myself, so as a cure I would only talk to my self when I was walking through the neighborhood thinking no one would notice. Now as a result at the age of 25 when Im walking in my workplace im usually talking to myself. It is a habit that stayed with me cause I created it. I must explain though when I MDD it is about antagonizing figures in my life; enemies in the workplace, relatives I dont like, and people I meet through different situations and have conflict with. Since I usually avoid this conflict or choose the passive route I MDD about me taking other routes and standing up to these figures.
Also, along with anxiety I think I may suffer from either aspergers or some form of autism. I researched the symptoms and even took an online exam in which I scored in the rage of high autistic traits. Even taking into account my childhood and early adult years of people telling me about my "weird" mannerisms and lack of eye contact it makes sense. Yet, another trait that sticks out from a Aspergers stand point is my lack of social cues. I usually ramble on for hours about the same topic and dont understand when people dont like me or dont want to talk to me. It usually takes someone to be an asshole to me to understand they dont like me. In some cases other people figure out that I dont see these things which cause them to manipulate and use me. I have been in the US military now for 5 years and have 0 people I can called friends. Everyone I have met in the military has used me or attempted to after talking to me for a few minutes.
In conclusion, from my experiences and research online I think MDD is a symptom withing another mentall illness and not a stand alone illness in itself. I know others will have different opinions on this subject but this is mine formed from experience and research.