Between work, family, fiance, car issues, and camp meetings I am just about done.  I have not had any alone time since Friday and tonight won't be any different.  I look forward to tomorrow night.  Not having alone time drives me bonkers.  Part of it is other people's drama stresses me out.  The other thing is I need me time.  Me time is daydreaming, playing video games, petting the kitty, and if its nice out taking a walk in the park.

 

I've missed the nicest two days this week, the rest is supposed to rain.  I really want to check on the berries!  See that is one of my hobbies, berry picking.  But its only doable for a limited time.  We have lots of different kinds around here.  A couple weekends ago I checked how things were coming along at one of my favorite picking spots.  Huckleberries are visible on their bushes, little greenish spheres that will ripen into red berries.  And salmon berries are blooming gorgeous magenta flowers, a few have even lost their petals soon to be ripening.  Oregon-grape is blooming little yellow flowers.  California blackberries are blooming white, these are the tiny sweet variety that grow close to the ground.  Salal is just putting out buds and the thimble berries are starting to bud too.  Service berries are also blooming white.

 

When I'm out walking or berry picking I daydream at the same time.  Unless someone is with me, which is rare.  Sometimes a passerby will ask what I'm picking.  Sometimes they will even try something new.  People are usually willing to try the salmon berries, and once a guy even tried a salal berry!  Most people don't recognize these as being edible, but they are and native American's used to eat them.  Well, Oregon-grape is pretty bitter by itself, but makes great jelly!

 

Look at me rant!  A subject I like and off I go!  Anyways... I think the reason why I daydream when I'm out in nature so easily is because I spent a lot of time doing it when I first started internalizing my fantasy play as a child.  We lived in a mobile home on a wooded property that had a stream running through it.  In the summer we had berries that I would eat off the bush.  I'd play with my animals, climb trees, and play fantasy in my mind.  It was peaceful out there by myself.  Inside the home was sometimes unpleasant and sometimes scary.

 

If the weather doesn't improve, if I can get away from people for a while, then I'm going on a video game binge.  My daydreaming has waned a little bit lately.  I've only done it mostly in the morning, at bedtime, and during walks to/from my car.  The world is feeling fake again.  The sky, the clouds, trees, pavement, everything almost feels two dimensional. 

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Comment by Angel on May 26, 2011 at 10:26am
You're absolutely right, their negative energy just soaks up into me.  I know that the people close to me aren't trying to be emotional burdens to me.  We have a three day weekend, so there will be some alone time for sure.  At the very least it will clean out the people stress I'm feeling.

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