Where wild minds come to rest
I can see because I have Autism, my life looks far from perfect. Though, many neurotypicals are skilled to prevent this as much as possible. Autistic just aren't capable of being that conscientious to prevent social flaws in future. Neurotypical people do expect too much from us! They even see subtle nuances in a person that "they think" must be improved ongoingly. Otherwise they complain, criticize or make remarks. What they can't seem to realize is, "You are who you are." All my life, people have always told me how to do things better. Sometimes, they'd get mean...even pass it to others! Later I realized, I was allowing so many people to take advantage of my weak spots,....perhaps because I was so damn nice. People do find it easier to pick on someone who is nice, especially when they seem too stupid and powerless to stand their own ground. In these years, I lived in my own dream world, where I looked forward to having better things come along in my future. Whether that is dating, looking wonderful, being my own boss and making lots of friends. As I got older, instead of seeing great results, it all came back down to facing the realities of dealing with people's hard headed ways...but never getting my own way, even as an adult person. For instance, I spent several years fighting for my rights as a woman with ASD and for my independence. Rather, I will just get walked on again. It's not like anybody cares....its my problem if I can't make things work out and improve on my personal imperfections.
Today, I realize there will never be a way I can truly impress someone. What is important is "what I think I should
improve on" and how to carry that forward. Instead of sweating and fretting about how people will over look and survey what I'm all about, I decided to relax, stay content and "just let it be" in future. Otherwise, I will just hurt myself and get an ulcer. **snort**