Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest

I notice that because you don't see what you want early enough or at all anytime soon, due to nature's unexplained realities, this will cause you to MDD. People who are usually successful don't do this, because they have what they need—especially when it's no biggie to them. Also, they know better as to how things are accomplished. Kind like the movie stars, musicians and celebrity socialites out there.

For instance, I had no idea that I had Autism until I was 30. Before then, I used to dream hard of what I wish to get, such as relationships. When in reality, I had so much trouble connecting with just about anybody on any level. It was a mystery to my dad and I, as to I wasn't successful with friendships and relationships. Therefore I got so frustrated and confused, I started DD'ing about wonderful and exciting things—'nothing much' in terms of what real life could offer me. Peers in school would even harass me for not finding friends and dates.
However, as I got older, MDD got out of hand, and I kind of wish I hadn't got started. It lead me to wash out a lot of good opportunities for career training. Employment and independence is now slow-coming for me, and unfortunately, I still live under my mother's foot. I still couldn't find a date in my 20's, because people blatantly found me too shy and quiet all together. It wasn't until I was 24 when my mom noticed 'I lived in my head' for quite a bit of time. She even talked me out of ever having an important career, outside of sticking to my artwork.

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Comment by Pathfinder on June 13, 2017 at 1:49pm

Hi Jessica!

Thanks for sharing! I read your previous post too and I really like the intelligent way you approach the subject. It also resonates with me, because I'm kind of going through the same pattern, the same train of thoughts right now. But I guess we all have to learn in our own individual pace and there's not a step you can skip. It took me 33 years to realise how abusive the effects of MDD were to my life in general, but...had I not realised, I would never have wanted to change a thing. Right? I still did not...just like you said: it's not just the fact that I lived inside a romantic dream and I was blind to the consequences, the price I payed - my youth. No, I did see it. At least I had those bright moments when I did. But then: life did not offer any other distraction than daydreams. I thought about it a lot, MD still hasn't ceased to fascinate my mind, a drug for your soul it might just be, but it's a puzzle and it does make you think on many levels (psychological, mental, biological fields to mention a few). I don't think there was any other way for me to 'evolve' - life was a shell and I was bottled up, with frustrations in an ignorant environment that was not reflecting me. It's hard for us. I don't think anyone truly understands how hard. MDD is a coping mechanism for many of us (maybe all of us) and as we are all, alone in the dark when it comes to the subject, it takes a long, very long time to understand. So again, thank you for sharing your bright thoughts, I'm glad I'm not the only one who went through some of your experiences. All the best to you!

Comment by Ulaan Gom on May 28, 2017 at 10:50pm

I agree with what you wrote in the first paragraph to a certain extent. You said that people who are successful usually don't daydream because they have what they want in real life. I thoroughly agree with you regarding the point that daydreaming frequency goes down with increasing satisfaction of one's real life. I've noticed this pattern over the last few years of my life--as my satisfaction with my real life increases, my daydreaming decreases, and as my satisfaction with my real life decreases, my daydreaming increases, somewhat like an escape mechanism that activates when needed. However, I disagree with you on the fact that most of those we view as successful usually don't excessively daydream, because I feel like daydreaming is less correlated with success and more correlated with happiness, so I guess the objective for us is to make our lives as happy and fulfilling as possible.

I understand that MDD can feel frustrating, even disheartening at times, because it has consumed such a significant portion of our lives and has altered what we could have been able to do. I try repeatedly to resist the urge to daydream, but I constantly find myself repeating the behavior--I am addicted to daydreaming. However, part of me deep within my heart knows that it doesn't have to be this way forever. It might take months, or even years, of concentrated effort, but I know that we can overcome maladaptive daydreaming and live our lives to the fullest. We can begin to live lives of more presence, focus, and accomplishment. However, I think for me personally it's important for me to change my attitude towards my compulsive daydreaming. I often feel frustrated that I keep on daydreaming as opposed to taking concrete steps towards improving my real life. I need to remember to be more compassionate towards myself during these moments, knowing that excessive daydreaming and overcoming this behavior are part of this amazing experience called life. Through the process of trying to overcome maladaptive daydreaming, I have already learned so much about my mind, my motivations, in addition to developing a newfound sense of patience, and I have SO MUCH more to learn in the future as I continue to embark on this process. I believe that in order to overcome maladaptive daydreaming, we will have to put forth a wholehearted effort to make our lives the happiest and most fulfilling they could possibly be, because as you had mentioned in the first paragraph, our dissatisfaction with our real lives largely fuels our compulsive daydreaming. We can fortify our lives by developing meaningful goals for our real lives, ones that begin slow but allow us to become strong in areas we wish to improve on, and ones that we can work towards at least a bit every single day. Developing new hobbies, exercising regularly, and finding new interests can all tremendously help. As for struggles with social interaction, I would recommend casually interacting with others in a minor or informal setting, such as asking a grocery store employee where an item is, even if doing so seems awkward and scary at the moment, because consistent social risk-taking can tremendously pay off over the long run. As for dealing with daydreams during the moment, I would recommend practicing a grounding activity such as mindful meditation or deep breathing. I confidently believe that we hold the power to change our lives for the better and become inspirations for those around us.

This video has really helped me stay inspired:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnIx1ktNNGs

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