Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest

It's funny. I spent many years of my life being the strong silent type. It never occurred to me what a significant degree of effect it had on everyone to extent they either got real angry, disturbed, snobbish or mean. They used to gossip all the time behind my back, even compare me to people who are already 'talkative' and 'socially acceptable.' So cruised through life with this deep chip on my shoulder. Whether read a book, did a crossword or went to work, I would be haunted with old memories of being picked up for being so quiet. Even if I went to bed and tried to get some sleep, my head would buzz with a stream of ongoing memorable incidences of people making a prude or honest remark on my silent behavior. I reckon the reason could be either, I was always so very lost in thought or my Maladaptive Daydreaming sort of prevented me from wanting to speak at all. Other times, I was just very introvert that way...I preferred to stare out a window and get absorbed in my own thoughts on a Go Train. Whereas other passengers would be too exuberant and excited to keep their mouth shut and enjoy having conversations with the people they sit with. Looking at me, Several people have gotten disturbed or found me rude, and asked "Are you OK?" As a result, I seldom attracted other people to want to hang around me. I became one of the loneliest people I ever recall knowing. MDD was a great big hostile wake up call for me.

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Comment by Pathfinder on June 13, 2017 at 1:54pm

Uhm...I kind of feel like I'm reading the journal I never had the courage (and focus!! with MD...no wonder) to write. EXACT same experience.

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