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I suppose it's been awhile since I've posted. To caught up in my daydreams to notice how fast time goes. Forgive me. It hasn't gotten better, really. I just like to live in a denial of sorts. That it isn't a problem, that is.
 But it is and I hit my low points of self-loathing and feel the need to speak about it here. When I hate everything that I am and escaping reality doesn't fix it, I am quite lost. No creativity is to be found here, no sir.
 I went to class today and I loathe that I demand attention. That I feel the need to make my teacher proud for the sole need of self-worth when all it does is make me want to tear my myself apart bit by bit and sob in a dark isolated room for an eternity. Why do I do it? I feel like she is annoyed of me. Tired of my questions. Tired of  my existence.
 I feel bored. There is nothing that interests me, not even my hobbies. Life feels like a continuous cycle of nothing. That nothing good will happen and I will keep living in this boredom. It's torture.
 I hope everyone has been doing good. I see the community has grown larger. The more people that speak out, the more people feel less alone. It's pleasing to see.



   

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Comment by Kira on January 24, 2012 at 9:08am

Thank you for understanding. It's really hard sometimes. I hope you are doing well though. 
My highs and lows are everywhere right now and I'm not sure what to do, to be honest. I'm just waiting it out.
   

Comment by greyartist on January 17, 2012 at 4:18pm

I'm sorry to hear that you are going though these feelings. I understand your statement, "There is nothing that interests me, not even my hobbies. Life feels like a continuous cycle of nothing." I'm there now too. I hope talking here will help you feel better.

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