Where wild minds come to rest
I am 16 years old, a girl and I am interested in many different topics. I can't live without music, I enjoy dancing and deeply love most forms of art. I think they add color to life, being one of the things that make living much more than simply existing for the sake of survival. I have always enjoyed litherature, especially sci-fi and fantasy, thrilling novels. But now I look for the deeper meaning in the story too. I enjoy deep thinking, philosophical discussions, asking big questions, learning about other cultures, understanding other people. Thats makes me interested in psychology too, one of the things that helped me discover an important part of who I am.....
A dreamer! The word "Maladaptive daydreaming" might be the accurate description, if I can call it "maladaptive" in my case, but "dreamer" is what I am in most aspects. I had known that deep within for a long time but I had no idea that there are so many others like me, or that there are others like me at all. For a curious person like me this means alot and for someone who can feel very lonely and different on inside sometimes - even more.
Daydreaming in my case has always been something like a visit to another world, a chance to see different possibilities, a break from reality. And I feel it more like a blessing than a curse. I cannot imagine living without it....well probably I could but it whould be a depressing and scary thing to do, it whould mean loosing the chance to do the things I love, not being able to see things the same way....and finally....loosing who I am. Yet it doesn't come without it's cons, having your head in the clouds can make you slightly detached from others's view on the world. This probably makes one bound to be misunderstood from time to time. Falling from that high is not fun either. And when dreams try to get in the way of your everyday tasks and future goals, they can turn from your best friend to your worst enemy.
But even if chasing after dreams can sometimes be like trying to catch the wind with your bare hands, It feels worth it as long as there is a chance to make them true. No matter how tiny this chance is, hope keeps me running and I don't think that I could be someone else than the dreamer I am.
However togeather with all the nice things I discovered, I saw the dark side of dreaming too. I realized it can destroy lives and take control of people. Even after tasting some of it's bitterness, I consider myself lucky for managing to live a happy and healthy life while being a daydreamer too. One of my main goals here is to figure out how to help other dreamers find a way to maintain a healthy balance between dreams and reality.
What I find specific about me is that I whould daydream alot despite of my happy childhood and I whouldn't feel like I need to do it, but more like a fun game to play- I whould pace around creating a story in my mind, make up my own worlds with their own creatures, connect them to my own world and various plots I knew from movies, videogames or books. As I grew up I was able to do it without having to pace or act it out, then slowly It adapted my lifestyle, still I cannot fully control it, but it is just enough to keep the most of it without having to suffer from it. Yet I have no idea how or why it changed to how it is now.
But thanks to Cordellia Amethyste Rose we could figure it out togeather, help eachother and make the world aware of our existence and with that help others who are being harmed by their daydreaming and have nobody to understand and support them. I am really gratefull to the people participating in this and of course to Cordellia.