Where wild minds come to rest
The saddest thing I've thought in a really long time is that my daydream characters would be strangers if they were real -- that they wouldn't love me or even care about me at all. I would desperately hope that's untrue, but in order for it to be untrue, the girl who is supposed to be "me" in my daydreams and I would have to be the same people. I put "me" in parenthesis because we're so different -- her and I. She has different experiences, different values, different personality traits, and she's so much stronger than me (emotionally and physically). She can handle so much more than I can. She often looks different than I look and wears clothes I most likely wouldn't wear.
Lately I've been thinking a lot about this. Maybe a little too much about this. I'm not sure what it means, but I've been pretty much obsessing over this. Are me and her the same or seperate? What does it mean if we're the same? What does it mean if we're seperate/different? What's best for me, for us to be the same or for us to be different? I don't know. I don't know the answer to any of those questions.
If we're the same, my other daydream characters would know me if they were real. If we're different, my daydream characters wouldn't love me or care about me or even know me -- they'd only know and love and care about her. That's so painful to think about.
It seems stupid to even think about this -- none of them are real. None of them. So why am I obsessing over "What if they were real?" I shouldn't be doing that, but I just can't not.
I don't know why I'm even posting this. I guess to just get it out.