Where wild minds come to rest
First of all, I just want to say thank you so much to Ms. Cordellia Rose for this lovely website. It helps me so much to have a safe outlet to come to and share my thoughts, feelings, concerns, etc., since my family members, boyfriend, and even therapist are completely in the dark about MDD.
I am Jennifer, a 21 year old college student who struggles with MDD. I daydream at least 3 times a week, and it is always JARRING to come back to reality afterward. I am SO unhappy with where I am in my real life, and it is highly depressing, often leading me to tears. I recently left my horrible and toxic serving job and am currently unemployed and struggling to find work (which I haven't been since I got my first job at 16 years old). I am struggling to pay my bills and am completely anxiety ridden over it.
I have created this wonderful idealized version of myself in my head. I call her Lizzie...She has everything in life that I never have and have always yearned for: friends, and a LARGE group of friends, money, fame, a beautiful romantic relationship with her boyfriend Max and happiness. She lives a wonderful life in a fictional place called North Shore, California and is working a happy and well-paying job in the music industry. However, this story has a tragic turn to it: she is suffering from a chronic disease and will die young.
I have thought that this story plot moves me so much that I need to publish it into a book so that other people can read this story I live everyday in my head. Hopefully they'll be moved by the sad story as well. I need to find a way to make it all come to life somehow.
Has anyone else written out their daydream plot in a story-like fashion? I started years ago and am still working on it. I do want to warn you, though, that this can also be a trigger. Can anyone relate to me? Is anyone else super unhappy with their waking life? Is anyone else depressed and just wanting to live in their head? I need help. </3