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I'm torn betweeen continuing and truly stopping this.

Hello, everyone... 

Have you ever found yourselves in the following situation?

Lately, due to what I believe to be gradually accumulated stress arousing from difficulties in my every day life, I find myself repeating patterns I thought I had weaned myself off some time ago. For the record, I have been an obsessive daydreamer since I was about six - I'm thirty now. Those patterns include rapid walking when I'm out while listening to music, acting out scenes from stories I'm building in my head when I daydream or even dance to some music when I'm alone... and daydream. This last one especially is something that I had stopped doing for at least five years!

Although even I find myself amused at times at my behavior, they are compulsive and sometimes I end up terrified that I'm losing my grip on reality, on sanity itself. I have shared some of this information with the people closest to me (well, except the dancing thing, I feel too embarrassed for that, honestly!) and they have been very supportive, encouraging me to keep a healthy balance between daydreaming and reality.

But, at the same time...

Daydreaming is like an old friend for me, a friend that I should be loathe to see go for two reasons:
1) It's the best comfort treatment I have for dealing with everyday things that get us all down, and
2) My daydreaming is, for lack of a better word, bookish, in the sense that everything becomes more idealized. That means plain old me gets the same treatment. In my dreams I am strong, cool, extremely attractive, a natural born leader. It's because of confidence born out of this daydreaming that I view the world with a somewhat detached point of view: I don't really invest emotionally on work or social networking. That, mind you, does not mean I don't have a job or friends: I do have both, as well as a stable and loving relationship. But daydreaming is my safety net, in a way.

Do I make any sense, guys? Do you feel the same way? I'd love to hear it!

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Comment by Telepsa on November 30, 2013 at 1:09am

Matthew, it's surprisingly soothing to know I'm not alone in this -- I always thought I would be considered insane for dancing around with myself, no matter what I tried to explain! And yes, I agree with what you say about stress -- I definitely notice my daydreaming tendencies peak when I have had a bad day at work or a confrontation of any kind. The detachment I speak of is a conscious choice really, one that applies to my work colleagues and friendly acquaintances; this filter disappears when someone gets a bit closer. 

ShellyBelly, it's good to hear I'm not the only one conflicted by this. I still hold great hope that I won't revert back to behaviors I had abandoned a long time ago, but nonetheless, even if I was offered a way "out" of every single DD behavior, so to speak, I doubt I would take it at this point. I think it would change my very personality.

Comment by ShellyBelly on November 29, 2013 at 5:41pm

You just described me perfectly. At this point, I desire to quite but don't know if I can. DD, I have found, is the way I process my thoughts and feelings. Some people write it out, talk it out, sing it out- we pace it out, dance it out and dream it out. It's just our way. Being here has helped me accept this more, but at the same time, I really DO want to stop. I think it's cool you managed to do it for any length of time. It is a way to self soothe. I just wish I had something didn't zap hours from my day and me me discontent with reality. Oh well. We will get there. Stay encouraged! :-)

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