Where wild minds come to rest
Have you ever found yourselves in the following situation?
Lately, due to what I believe to be gradually accumulated stress arousing from difficulties in my every day life, I find myself repeating patterns I thought I had weaned myself off some time ago. For the record, I have been an obsessive daydreamer since I was about six - I'm thirty now. Those patterns include rapid walking when I'm out while listening to music, acting out scenes from stories I'm building in my head when I daydream or even dance to some music when I'm alone... and daydream. This last one especially is something that I had stopped doing for at least five years!
Although even I find myself amused at times at my behavior, they are compulsive and sometimes I end up terrified that I'm losing my grip on reality, on sanity itself. I have shared some of this information with the people closest to me (well, except the dancing thing, I feel too embarrassed for that, honestly!) and they have been very supportive, encouraging me to keep a healthy balance between daydreaming and reality.
But, at the same time...
Daydreaming is like an old friend for me, a friend that I should be loathe to see go for two reasons:
1) It's the best comfort treatment I have for dealing with everyday things that get us all down, and
2) My daydreaming is, for lack of a better word, bookish, in the sense that everything becomes more idealized. That means plain old me gets the same treatment. In my dreams I am strong, cool, extremely attractive, a natural born leader. It's because of confidence born out of this daydreaming that I view the world with a somewhat detached point of view: I don't really invest emotionally on work or social networking. That, mind you, does not mean I don't have a job or friends: I do have both, as well as a stable and loving relationship. But daydreaming is my safety net, in a way.
Do I make any sense, guys? Do you feel the same way? I'd love to hear it!