Where wild minds come to rest
I know I'm playing with fire here and if I get burned there's a chance I could lose myself for good but I feel quite confident that I won't let this consume me. Daydreaming does take up a lot of time. Some days I wake up, get a coffee, sit in front of the computer screen, listen to music and before I know it it's time for bed again. Most of the time this is because nothing inspires me and I find it easier to just drift off somewhere else.
However I have been trying many different meditation techniques and have been lucid dreaming more frequently and this has, in turn, made me feel pretty good in myself. The vast majority of the time I use lucid dreaming to visit my daydream crush. I know that this isn't a good thing, at least not all the time, and I should use my lucid periods more productively and, as bizarre as it may sound, my daydream crush agrees with me.
I had quite an intense experience whilst meditating where colours began to swirl behind my eyelids and began to form the house in which my daydream crush lives. This started to become more solid, like a dream. I was then pretty much able to move around this place. I entered the house and found him sat down, reading. He asked me how things were going and I explained how much I hated life and wished I could stay here forever. We spoke for a while and he eventually told me it was time I left but he would "meet me there."
I suddenly fell from my trance feeling exhausted but at the same time liberated.
That night I went to bed and had a dream I was on a bus but my bus pass kept changing and I realised this was strange. I then came to the conclusion it must be a dream and I became lucid. I yelled at the bus driver to stop and I got off the bus. I walked down a street and thought about my daydream crush. Normally I have to turn a corner to make him appear and I was fast approaching one. When I turned I found a battered old fence. I went through and found an old looking house and my daydream crush was sat outside examining different insects. I sat beside him. Every time I visit him he is able to remember our previous encounter. It's like that world has time of it's own. He asked me if I was feeling better now. I told him I still felt the same. We just talked for a while until I started to feel like I was gonna wake up so I hugged him tightly. I've never felt so peaceful. He told me that he would always be with me but that I spend too much time trying to find him and I should just enjoy my dreams. I didn't want to let go but I felt he was right. We said our goodbyes and I decided now would be a good time to fly lol. I flew off and had a few little adventures before waking up and these adventures inspired me to write all day when I woke up.
Like I said, I know I am playing with fire. I'm under no illusion there really is a separate world where he exists and I can apparently fly and do crazy sh*t but even so, my mind allows me to access this place and I will continue to do so. There's always a chance I will get sucked in too much but for now when I wake up after seeing him I feel good about everything and most importantly I actually want to draw, write and even live in reality. Weird, huh? I'd still advise people not to indulge in the world of lucidity because it can be dangerous. It has also taken me years and lots of practices and discipline to get to this point.