I just got the “you’re such a loner” talk...

[Amanda Lewone]

I just got the “you’re such a loner” talk at the gym today by one of the personal trainers 

You’re always alone 

You just come in, exercise alone, don’t talk to anyone, so serious and leave 

You’re really quiet

You seem very humble though 

You seem like the church-going type 

How many friends do you have?

Do you go out ?

And so on…

I tried to just laugh everything off…or turn the questions around…

But as soon as I left the gym I wanted to cry 

I don’t know why it hurts me so much when people do this 

When I am on my own I actually feel comfortable about my aloneness 

It’s when I am in a public place that I frequent - people notice - and ask those dreaded questions 

I can’t deal with it 

I wish I had more inner strength 

(By the way, I know he wasn’t trying to be mean. I think he just wants me to have a more fun experience at the gym by socialising)

 

[The1andonlyAbber]

The only time I don't feel lonely is when I am alone.

[Somebody]

I am alone too and happy.... i don't care for others opinions

[Queen Dopamine]

That's so frustrating! If you're comfortable being alone, then you shouldn't have to be questioned. People often mean well, but it can be hurtful. So then it makes you feel more self-conscious when you go out, wondering who is looking at you and what they're thinking. I tend to have a skewed self-perception, thinking that perhaps I look unapproachable, too serious, maybe even hateful? That every move I make is exaggerated and obvious. That my body language just screams "I'm uncomfortable" or "I don't belong here". So even though the personal trainer wasn't being mean, it still affects us. Whereas other people take that type of teasing with a grain of salt.