Where wild minds come to rest
I tried so hard. So hard to take an internet sabbatical, apparently not hard enough. I tried and I failed. Just like the last time. I try not to come here, I try and I fail. I see myself hurting my chances to a better future and yet I don't act. My existential crises in the bus rides home are so fucking short-lived, as soon as I come home, I waste time, even more time. I daydream while sitting at my desk, "10 minutes only, maybe, maybe I'll get the motivation from my daydream! I am what I want to be!", 10 minutes become 20, 30... My open books stare at me, and I at them.
I feel like such a hypocrite. Giving out free advice! "Limit thy distractions!" Well, take a look! Wasted 6 hours on the internet!
But this feels so WRONG! I imagined myself as this cold-ass dude, but I can't get rid of the fucking internet. I wake up late, sleep early and I waste the time in between. And I loathe myself. I am a bitter person.
The internet and all the feeling of connection that it brings into my utterly lonely life, stands between me and this beast, actually no, it stands between me and the armoury; the beast is beside me, laughing at my helplessness. I feel powerless.