Where wild minds come to rest
I'm 13. I should be shopping, going to concerts, hanging with friends, making memories, ect. You know what I'm doing? Pacing around in my room hour after hour. Heck, I just heard a song on the TV and my mind jumped at the chance to daydream. I want to stop. I want friends, I want to go places, I want real people. I don't want imaginary characters that have not and never will exist. I (might) be able to stop if I could let go of one of my many characters....Xavier. He's made up, of course. I love him so much though. He has protected me as long as I can remember. He has changed though, as I have changed and wanted different things in someone. But one things always stands out: He has always "protected" me, in my head at least. I KNOW he isn't real, but it just hurts to think about it. My Xavier has flaws, though. But those things make him all the more perfect. Back to the point: I need to tell my parents. How, though? How can I tell them I'm in love with some guy I made up? How can I tell them I have imaginary friends to make up for real ones? I can't bring myself to blurt it out....I've tried (and failed) so many times. My parents would be supportive; that makes me lucky. But how can they support me when they don't know? I don't want them to think of my differently. I don't want to try to explain my complicated world to them. I want the world to still be my secret. I want to stop. But then I don't. But then I do. But then I think about how much it hurts to let my characters go.....I feel like my heart would just be empty. I need help....