How can this be possible....?

[Kristen]

Hey everyone, it's been a while hasn't it.  Haha.... I think the last time I updated anything was about four months ago.

Well, I've gotten back into the routine of high school, mountains of homework, stressed about test, giving presentations and playing in the band.  Sadly my circle of friends has dwindled a bit but one missing piece was filled by a special someone.  I didn't think after sophomore year I would ever get back into the dating game but I guess that's how life sneaks up on you like that.  This guy is very sweet and caring and understanding.  I was even comfortable enough to tell him about my MD, though I'm not sure he understands it fully.

Dad and I have completely abandon cleaning and our house is just a wreck.  I don't think either one of us has quite grasp the strength to get over mom.  So, like stubborn children, we sit at home waiting for her to come back and tell us to get to work on the kitchen or laundry.  Even our dogs have changed and became more clingy.

With all these things going on you think that it would keep me busy enough... yet, I feel that my daydreaming has gotten "stronger" so to say, and with that, my depression and anxiety.  Usually my depression is a nagging and vicious voice that wont stop talking about all the horrible possibilities and even the smallest little bad detail get blown out of proportion.  But now for the first time in.... god at least eleven years, it wasn't a voice, it was just feeling heavy and weighed down.  And worse, it started when I was out in public so my anxiety was through the roof.  The daydreams really don't happen when I'm in the company of others... unless its a drawn out lecture, but once behind closed doors I start to get anxious and have four or more daydreams playing at once.  Thankfully it hasn't effected too much of my real life, but I'm afraid that soon it will because once I'm pulled out of my daydreams my aggression rockets, though I hide it to the best of my ability, followed by a hard crash into the pits of despair.

Is there anything I can do to stop this cycle of destruction?  I hate feeling this way and it's starting to worry both my father and boyfriend.

[Sammy]

I'm not a specialist, but I think your depression is starting to happen because you have been daydreaming for a long time in your life. It's important to focus on the more positive things that are happening, and it's great that you have a boyfriend and a bit more social life. If being social is what keeps you out of your daydreams, then it's good to keep up with it, because that's what'll help you to get over the DD. Even if it might be a bit scary sometimes, it'll help you. When you are alone and experience a lot of daydreams, then I guess what you could do is replace any of the dreams you might have with how you're doing in your social life and you're friends. Don't think too hard, think lightly and if they keep coming at you (too many at once) then try and ignore them. If you do continue to daydream too much then it could possibly affect you because you're not used to the real life. But if you start to bring yourself to the real life and not think so much; it may be hard at first, but as time goes by, it'll be easier and more relaxing. You just have to take baby steps. I hope this helped.