Getting Better

[Amy Buttz]

Well, I never thought I would say this, but things with my daydreaming seem to be gettting better.  I can see most of my issues are with self-loathing.  I see that a lot of other people have issues with productivity and paying attention.  These have never really been an issue for me.  I also have OCD, which (I have to laugh a little here) seems to save me from being unproductive.  It seems to balance me out, because no matter how much I daydream, I am also very driven to be perfect in everything I do, so I can't let my "to do" list go undone. Anyway, when I tell myself that it is O.K. to daydream, it feels like such a relief.  I let my daydreaming idle when it wants to and when it come on full bore I go ahead and give in and, here's the important part for my, don't feel like I am doing something "wrong." 

For years, I felt ashamed.  Especially when this continued into adulthood, I felt like a grown woman should be able to stop [I called this "making up stories"] making up stories and I couldn't.  I felt defective, like because I couldn't stop doing this, there must be something wrong with me, like a lack of self-control.  I felt like this was a huge horrible secret that someone might find out about and think I was a terrible person. 

I recently told my husband about this and he doesn't find anything wrong with it.  I expected him to back away from me like I was diseased, but instead he has become my main listener.  I worry sometimes that I will bore him to death now!    Anyway, feeling better about my "wild mind" and really appreciate this site.   

[greyartist]

Thats good. I'm glad your husband is suportive.