Day 8

[Jordan]

so i usually like a few days to go by before i write another blog but today i hit a big trigger i couldnt sleep much last night so i gave up trying i turned on the tv and a commercial was on the girl in the commercial was a celebrity i used to obsess about i used to use her in my fantasies i had never seen the commercial before so i was surprised by it i had the urge to watch it again and again so i could get it in my head and i could daydream about it and about her

 

i fought every urge i had i kept myself busy and tried not to think about it......but it was so hard after awhile the urge finally went away i didnt think it would but im glad it did i just got through freewritting its something else i do to help me get through this i use music to help draw out any intense emotions.....before this week i would often use music to help me escape further in my fantasy world but im tryna use it in a more healthy way....

 

when things get stessful or too hard to deal with i imagine im at the beach ever since i was a kid the beach was my favorite place to go it still is but we live more than an hour away from the beach so we dont go often but i got a few tracks of the beach and i play them and sit in my room and imagine im there its a healthier way to "get away" in my mind and i feel good about myself without feeling like crap later...

 

now to make it through the rest of today...

[taffle]

Yes, sometimes I have urges to look at pictures of a character that I like but I tell myself I can't do this all the time.