Completely uninterested. Can't get inspired.

I walk around in a daze all the time.  I'm not even daydreaming per se that much, but all day, all I want to do is stare into space, check my facebook and twitter over and over, and generally do nothing.  I can't make myself get interested in life.  I want to be inspired so much, but I'm just tired.  Have so many years of daydreaming made me incapable of caring about anything?  I have closets and cabinets that have literally needed to be cleaned out for years.  The area above my fridge had a thick layer of dust for years.  My floor is covered in cat hair, though I've vacuumed it fairly recently.  I hate just feeling tired and uninspired all the time.  Am I the only one who just wants to stare into space and is completely uninspired?  I feel like I've outgrown the need to daydream, so my daydreams don't inspire me in the least.  I don't want to daydream.  I'm certainly not getting anything out of it.  I'm just doing it out of habit.  I'm doing it because my brain doesn't know how to do anything else.  I have a lot of reading to do, but it's grueling to make myself even pass over the words.  I'm completely uninterested in it.  I'm uninterested in discussions.  I'm uninterested in all the crap I keep reading on the internet, though I keep reading it because I can't focus enough to do anything else.  Maybe the 4 prescriptions I take to get to sleep probably aren't helping, but if I don't drug up then I don't sleep, and I feel horribly sick and out of my mind all day long.  I can't bear that feeling anymore.  I refuse to go through that.  Before everyone suggests anti-depressants, I've tried those numerous times, and they had no effect.  Plus I'm already spending $40 a month on sleeping drugs.  I don't know how to wake up and get inspired.

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Comment by Cordellia Amethyste Rose on May 9, 2011 at 11:48pm
Thanks for the support, guys.  I'm really not looking for tips and advice, though.  When people try to give me advice it just makes me feel more frustrated, like they don't understand.  It feels like I have to try and argue with them and convince them of my struggles because they make it sound so simple.  I've tried all the simple stuff like drugs.  Trust me, if that were the answer I wouldn't be here because I  would've been cured 17 years ago.  Drugs don't work, and I've outgrown the useful enjoyment of my fantasy world.  I actually think part of it might be the drugs I take for sleep.  They make me so groggy that when I'm naturally in a funk, they just make it worse.
Comment by Ms.Coquette on May 9, 2011 at 11:07pm

I remember spending weekends not washing my hair, or my face pacing back forth in an old t shirt lost in my mind. 

I'm twenty and I've come to terms with this now. THANK YOU for having the courage to share your story. 

If I'd had to live with this till I was thirty I wonder how I'd feel. 

The truth is I dont know. 

 

What I do know is that we're blessed with vivid imaginations. I'd look into the secret/ law of attraction. I'd encourage you to visualize the life of your dreams in detail (not daydream visualize) write about it... and the steps you'd have to take to attain it. You cannot achieve anything if you don't know what you want. 

 

What is wrong with medication? Your brain is a part of your body like anything else isn't it? Sometimes it malfunctions and we need to treat it properly just like your heart, liver etc... 

 

Thanks again for inviting me into your group. I can't believe there are others like me. 

Comment by Jane Wilson on May 9, 2011 at 3:20am
Medication can have a profound effect on how your mind works, anti-depressents make permanent changes in thought patterns, not something that gets mention often.    The medication I am under dulls pain and relaxes the muscles in my back to prevent painful spasms.  When I count it up in a 24 hour period I consume 9 douses of medications that all have a warning about making you sleepy.  The catch is I can not quit because I can not function with the pain and going to work is a necessity.   Because of this I can spend long moments not thinking , thinking requires focused effort and I can go asleep anytime/anyplace I allow myself to.  I am certain it is the medication , you may want to try alternate methods to get enough sleep.  From what I have read the problem with sleeping medications is that when you do sleep , you do not enter into rem state which your body needs to refresh your brain.  So you stay exhausted even after sleeping eight hours a night.  If you are not coming away rested , that could be the cause.
Comment by Laila on May 8, 2011 at 7:51pm

*huggles* Hey Cordellia; I go through those phases too like you wouldn't believe it. Quite a bit of the time, I don't accomplish much in the day, and I'd rather stare out into space than to actually do something productive. I also spend hours and hours on the internet each day, and I browse around here often even if no one is online. *le sigh* One suggestion though: Play some awesome music out loud and start cleaning your house! :3 I tend to feel very refreshed after cleaning, even if I think it's going to be mundane task. A clean environment can do wonders on your mood...you'll feel like you want all the windows open and for the sunshine to illuminate every bit of your clean place. Then download and play some nature sounds (rain, waterfall, birds) and relax!

Comment by Cordellia Amethyste Rose on May 8, 2011 at 4:56pm
Thanks.  It could be the drugs I'm taking.  I've been sleeping a lot, and while it's normal for me to have periods of lack of motivation, normally they don't include this much physical fatigue.  Either it's too many years of daydreaming or it's too many drugs.  I'm not sure what I'll do in either case as I need drugs to sleep and can't undo all the years of daydreaming.  I have to figure it out though because I have things to do.
Comment by Jaidyn on May 8, 2011 at 4:24pm
I wish I could give you some advice about how to get inspired.  My daydreams are the only thing that excite me, I'm not sure what I would do if I didn't have that.  I do have days when I can't focus on them or anything else and I just go from one thing to the next without actually doing anything.  It's like my brain is just spinning in circles, jumping from one fantasy to real life and back to a different fantasy and nothing stays for long.  Hope it gets better for you soon.

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