Almost found out, although I was probably imagining it worse than it was...

[Truthful Alibi]

Today, I had to go to the hospital. A doctor needed to ask me more questions, because I'd already had a blood test and been asked questions, but I had to be asked more.

All of this was because I've been REALLY tired for ages and ages, so I had a blood test done to see why. All of it was fine.

Anyway, the doctor asked me "When do you get to sleep at night?"

I said "Midnight."

He asked me why. My Mum said it's because of me reading (actually my DDing, but I'm not gonna say that in front of my Mum, younger brother and a doctor who have never even heard of MD and probably wouldn't believe me anyway) and then he asked me "What do you do when you've finished reading?" I told him I just laid there and tried to get to sleep. He asked me "Does your mind rest?" I was like OMG OMG! They're gonna find out about my MD!

Anyway, I said "No, I can't lie there for 5 minutes without thinking."

I was thinking Is he gonna ask me what I think about?

But thank God! He didn't!

My Mum just said I have a very active mind, and fortunately, that was the closest he came to anything even remotely related to MD.

Eventually, he put it down to a virus I had last year.

Because apparently my body is recovering slowly or something like that, and it normally happens with glandular fever but I didn't actually have that (hooray!) and some other kids who have similar things happen to them can't even go to school for like a year (the doctor actually said that; I'm not exaggerating)

So, unfortunately, he told me I need to relax and not try to be like a #1 runner or anything (NOOOOOO!!!!!!)

Lol. Yeah, he was joking when he said that. So at weekends, I have to 'recover'.

And I don't actually want to become a #1 runner, but since I apparently do a 'shuffle' run (according to my Mum =p) there wasn't much chance of that anyway XD

Oops, I accidently wrote 'change' instead of 'chance'. Lol. Clumsy fingers XD Which isn't too good, considering the fact that I play the piano XD

Anyway, I have to go now, my brother is  begging    nagging   ANNOYING THE HELL OUT OF ME to make me play 'Sphinx and the cursed mummy' on the xbox with him =P  =0

Bye, to anyone who's skimmed down to the bottom of the page so they don't have to read the nonsense I've typed   read this blog post!

[Pascale]

You know it is not like I go round and say "Hi, I have MD". I just tell I'm daydreaming too much you know. Or something like that. So most people will not understand that you actually can DD too much. Telling will not help you because people will believe you. Telling will help you because you will understand that they really do not care.  

 I think your main problem is being afraid people find out who you really are. I dont know how old you are but I remember as I was a teenager I was feeling very different than anybody else. And one day I find out I was not so different and I was almost disappointed. 

You are acting so people will not find out what is on your mind. Try one day to figure out that everybody is acting around you. You have DD, what is their addiction? What is the thing they do not want you to know about them. And the most important question is what would you do if you knew? Would they be different person for you? Would you treat them as freak. Just make the scenario in a DD. You find out that your mum is eating chocolate when nobody look at her, that your dad is reading porno or that your brother just fall in love with a TV-character. So what.

Its not really logical. You say you are so afraid they find out, but they do not know about MD so they will not believe you anyway. So what will they find out? That you DD? Most of the teenager do. At you DD more than normal. What does it mean anyway to be normal?

[Truthful Alibi]

@ Pascale, I'm worried about people finding out because those people will most likely be my family, or@ people who will tell my family, and legally I can't move out of my house yet, so I will be around people who know about my MD but don't accept/believe it almost 24/7

@ Lizzy Maslow, I think we're all worried about people finding out because not only will they not understand it, but since most doctors don't actually know about MD, they won't believe it either. I know my family wouldn't.

@ Pascale (again), I would try to tell one person, but I can't really think of any of my friends to tell, as they are not connected to me by blood so it's easier for them to reject me, and I don't have many friends (in real life) as it is, and as I wrote above, since I can't move out of my house yet, if I tell my family, they'll be around me for a lot of time (sorry, the way I worded that didn't make much sense) and I know they'll start treating me differently. I also naturally have a hard time making myself even say how I feel, even if it didn't make much difference to anything. That's one of the reasons that before I discovered about MD I thought I had Asperger's Syndrome.

You told your friend? Wow you're brave.

@ TJ, I wouldn't mind rejection either, except that it's illegal for me to move out of my house yet and my family would treat me like a freak (well I am, but like I'm actually a psycho) and I don't want to be around them if they treat me like that.

 

Sorry if the replies I've given aren't very good, I barely ever know what to say to anyone, plus I'm exhausted from barely even getting 5 hours sleep in 2 nights combined.

[Pascale]

Not really paranoia. But its just another lye we tell to ourselves. If they know we are daydreaming most will not understand, because they are not able to relate to it. But they will definitely not think you are an alien or a bad person.

Yesterday I tell a good friend about MD. She said "is DD your problem? you have real problem. You are just tired because of job, moving, child... DD is not a problem.

- yes it is. I said and we begin to speak about something else. 

I guess it is a usual reaction to get. Other here are telling the same kind of reactions, I just dont find the blogs just now . Your mother love you as you are so does you brother. They will not reject you if they find out even if they found out. (Well your younger brother can mock you, thats just how sibling are.)

And for the doctor you are just another case he does not really care.  

I think you should try to tell one person, just to find out there is really nothing to be afraid off.  

[Skylar Grey]

haha i know ur worried about getting caught but they werent even close. But i admit i do that too. Anytime someone walks into my room while i have headphones on im worried theyre gonna figure it out. or when they ask why i lay around all day i worry then too. Maybe paranoia (not sure if i spelled that right) is associated with MD or if were all just really worried about getting caught.

[Pascale]

why are you so afraid someone find out?