Wild Minds Network

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Hi there, I am an MD er too. Its a relief that such a term 'Maladaptive daydreaming' was coined. It is actually very comforting to know that many people like me exist. I have had this disorder since …

Hi there, I am an MD er too. Its a relief that such a term 'Maladaptive daydreaming' was coined. It is actually very comforting to know that many people like me exist.
I have had this disorder since my earliest memories. My MD has always been centered around my love interest at that point of time. Yes, I have always had a love interest since kindergarten. It just shifts from one person to another. I thought it was perfectly normal and that everyone had it. My daydreams always centred around one of these things : me dancing on a stage show (usually at an upcoming event somewhere or somewhere imaginary), me doing some presentation or kind of public speaking, me achieving something of immediate importance or something of greater value.

I donot know to dance. Being a shy child I was always compelled by parents to participate in events during my school time. And I have participated and have managed to get some 2nd or third positions for some extempores at times..., never first.

In my daydreams, my love interest then will always have some way to come to know about this achievement. And also I imagine people around me talking high of me. I will always become a person if importance somehow.

MD becomes irresistible when I am alone in a room, travelling alone etc. Having had working parents and being an only child, I have been left alone at home many times. I usually pace back and forth through the hall when daydreaming. Study holidays are nightmarish for me. I have to learn to pass. I know that I have enough intelligence to get through my exams. My serious face and silent nature always give people around me an impression that I am an intelligent book worm sort of a person. So people initially treat me with some respect and then gradually decide for themselves that my attitude is a facade and many of them have spat that on my face both publicly and privately. I have been harrassed by a group of guys who understood that there was something seriously wrong with me. They used to stand in a bunch and turn and sneer at me as I passed. Say destructive comments in way that only I can hear. Make strange noises from behind so that I got irritated because I knew that it was directed towards me. Somehow I passed my junior college and scraped through my entrance exam. And for college I decided to move out of my hometown and study at a place far away from all the people who hurt me.


College was a whole new thing. Hostel helped me to keep my daydreams to a minimum. And it did thoroughly help me pass all my semester exams. Hostel life was all in all, a bliss. But my social phobia had worsened. Which made it even more difficult for me to make friends. I sat down with a bunch of people who did not by any standards see things the way I did. Making the time I spent there real sad and dragging. Bu back in hostel I was all active again.

Hostel life gives my life a sort of goodness that cannot be explained.


Then I got a job through our campus placement. And I am currently an IT employee. Even though I am able to keep my daydreams to a minimum in my hostel, MD attacks me again when I am back in my home. My mom and dad knows that I am a daydreamer. And a few of my friends also know it. But none of them know its depth.


Apart from MD I also have long arguments from my own previous situations. Usually because I failed in an argument in real life. This particular thing actually gets me very disturbed mentally and physically. I have noticed acidity in my stomach linked to this . To come out of it, I will usually eat something and watch some light romedy movie(some favourite one for 100 and something eth time) or indulge in extensively imaginative daydreams that soothe me and provide me with some form of validation.



And so the cycle continues.... If anyone with similar condition have any tips for recovering, please share...I am actually posting thus here because I saw mail as written by Eli Somer, the person who coined the very term and brought it into light. Please provide some means of coping with it... Because I am absolutely unsure of what to do with my life.

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Comment by Hannah on September 9, 2017 at 8:40pm

I, too struggle to with shutting the daydreams off. I will be going to college within the next few years, and I wonder what life will be like for me then. I don't think this is something I will grow out of. For me, when I need to halt my daydreams in order to accomplish something, I try to distract myself from the distraction, if that makes sense. I avoid activities that trigger my daydreams, like listening to certain songs or being alone for extended periods of time. 

Comment by Source on September 5, 2017 at 1:40am

MDD itself is a coping mechanism. There's something hidden deeper in that causes it. Trying to treat the symptoms will do nothing, you have to find the reason why it happens in the first place. Unfortunately, it's something you can only do on your own.

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