Where wild minds come to rest
At the moment I feel totally lost, daydreaming seems to be taking over my life. Normally I feel like I have more control over it. I feel like I can set the boundaries.
I would limit myself to DD before going to sleep and could easily cope with being at work and interacting with people. The last month or so I've noticed a change where I feel distant from everyone.
One of my colleagues asked if everything was OK as I had been quiet and acting different to normal.
It's been so quiet at work recently that I have found it easy for my mind to wander. In my DD I am happily in a relationship with a TV star and he seems to creep into my thoughts throughout the day.
I feel like I am drowning within my own mind. I know MD is a part of me and was a massive part of my life during my teens so I know I cannot just switch it off.
Someone offered to set me up on a date with someone and weirdly my mind kept thinking about losing the DD in my mind with this guy.
I know its not real and it slips into my mind that this person is off living his life and building relationships and will never know me and I am putting so much effort into my perception of him. Also I sometimes think about how weird it would be to find out someone spends hours of the day fantasising about being with someone they do not know. Then I started to feel ashamed of myself for wasting so much energy.
I then feel down and unhappy but then it all start again, the daydreams come back and I forget or try to forget the sadness I felt and there I am again in my mind happy with him and friends and family.