The 3 Kinds of Daydreamers

[MatthewR]

This is just something from observation, but i get the impression that there are 3 kinds of people on this site:

1. Neurotic Daydreamers - these are the dd’ers who are closest to the “maladaptive” definition. They use daydreams to sustain an idealized sense of self that compensates for low self-esteem, essentially “growing on the useless side of life” because these daydreams don’t improve our situation; they unconsciously serve to spare us the pain of real emotion and the possibility of defeat
2. Managed Daydreamers - these dd’ers are more comfortable with their habit, devoting some time to daydreaming every day or every evening; this helps them to relax and process thoughts and feelings which have been building during the day; while the situations still compensate for something missing in real life (intimacy, excitement, adventure, etc.), they are mostly managed and accepted as part of a life that has more important responsibilities (that is, it’s a silly pastime, but it’s still just a pastime).
3. Vivid Daydreamers - these dd’ers are practicing something closer to what Carl Jung referred to as “Active Daydreaming” where real feelings and subconscious thoughts are allowed to play in the mind to produce useful scenarios needed to deal with life; also, these people may simply be exercising intense creativity, planning for future events, writing chapters in a novel, etc. This is not really maladaptive, but it can certainly be excessive if no real work is done to make these daydreams a reality…

It’s possible that we engage in these different kinds of dd’s at different times, depending on how active and healthy we are. If we are busy, we don’t dd as much. Or if we are more or less happy with our situation, we also won’t dd. But, if life throws us a lemon, we may revert back to our old habit of daydreaming to avoid processing the uncomfortable emotions of life. It’s much easier to imagine ourselves powerful and successful than it is to try it and potentially fail. That is, our sense of superiority in some area of life would be threatened if we actually test ourselves in life. That’s scary, and it’s a big reason for why neurotic daydreamers do this (myself included).

I suppose there’s potentially Group #4, where people who have experienced something traumatic can escape that trauma in fantasy, or at least learn to cope with it there. But i think it’s more of a temporary thing, because people will eventually move on and get stronger (hopefully!). So they don’t get stuck in it. Otherwise they may become neurotic like dd’ers in Group #1.

That’s my impression. I hope I don’t offend, but i just keep reading the same stories in the discussions, and so i thought i’d post.

[Camoran]

I think you got it right, but I doubt that assigning those categories to individual daydreamers is as easy as defining them. I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out to be a whole spectrum with incredibly blurry gray areas.