Where wild minds come to rest
So, less than a week to go before 2016 kicks out. According to the internet, this has been the worst year in history. According to my country's weather forecasts, it's been the year with the hottest summer ever (they say that every year). According to my own experience, neither of those.
But experience is subjective. Different people exposed to the same event almost always internalize it in different ways. We are limited to our own point of view when it comes to first-hand experiences, we can't share them with anyone, at least not yet. Our perspective is the only one we have, and this is, I think, our greatest blessing and curse, for it can help us better understand ourselves, and at the same time blind us to what happens outside.
We all see people doing things all the time. We constantly see others reacting to things both outside and inside their own heads. But while we can always know how we feel at any given time with exact accuracy, when it comes to other people our perception is limited, by their ability to express it and our ability to understand it, even more so if the other person is not even within our line of sight but hundreds or thousands of kilometers away, and communication is restricted to flat, cold words printed on screens. Misinterpretation is always around the corner, but it isn't always the greatest danger. It's very much possible, and common, that we try to understand one another and for some reason we fail, but sometimes - as I learned the hard way - we do understand what's happening around us, and we choose not to care.
We are all unique, but the ever-present threat of arrogance drives many to think that they're special, that they're more important than anyone and anything else. These people will demand that things be handed to them, and come up with excuses as to why this should happen, with a complete disregard for the troubles of others and a blind eye turned to the suffering that they themselves cause, as well as the rejection of the hard truth that nothing ever comes without a price. We see every day how far this kind of attitude can escalate. Nothing can be done for them except hoping that one day they will awaken from their illusions, realize the extent of the havoc they wrought, and make efforts to compensate for it.
I was once one of those people, so deeply absorbed into my own little world that, in time, I had eventually become a black hole, unconsciously threatening to destroy anyone who remained close enough for long enough, anyone too kind to stay away. I don't know how long I was in that state, but at this point it's irrelevant.
I believe that my eyes are open now, and what I saw when they first opened shocked me with a horror I can't even begin to describe. The realization that I had become everything I thought I was fighting struck like an unstoppable icy spear right through my thoughts. I had sown the seeds of madness, and reaped only pain.
I offer my truest apologies to anyone here whom I ever hurt beyond reason, anyone who had to deal with the blows of my insanity without deserving it, and if this section rings a bell, if reading about my own little story gave you that bitter feeling - if it did, you'll know what I'm talking about - then I wish for you to wake up soon and bring yourself to do the same.
Let us leave this year behind on a proper note and carry out the next one in a good one. We may never truly understand each other, but we can strive to come ever closer to that achievement, and maybe ease each other's suffering in the process. Let's not allow hatred to cloud our judgement and tear us apart, from each other and within.
I wish to all of you a glad-hearted Christmas, and a prosperous and successful new year. Source out.