Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest

I've been on Wildminds for quite some time now & I've noticed a large number of people hate their DDing & want it to stop. That is not the case for me. I very much enjoy my DDing & feel it provides me solace. It's annoying then when reality interferes, making DDing difficult. Even if it's a positive life event, it throws off my regular DDing habits. A friend of mine is trying to get me on a blind date with her husbands friend. This is annoying on multiple levels. It derails my DDing, forces me to be 'on' after a long day at work, & go though the exhausting 'getting to know you' process. DD's don't require me being impeccably dressed on my best behavior. I can be sitting on my couch in sweats not having showered for days & DD. I just don't want to put myself out there only to find out he's a tool/already married/still in love with his ex/a convict/or a complete doormat.

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Comment by Dreamer on December 25, 2017 at 10:23am

I agree that DD can be a wonderful escape and be relaxing. I also understand why people want to stop or at least have more control over it. If it's impacting a person's ability to extend themselves socially, it can be very isolating.  For some people, the time spend dreaming can feel like a break. For others, it might lead to feeling more lonely and less connected. I think I currently have my dreaming under control and I welcome it in a lot of ways. Sometimes I even give myself time to do it. My younger self, though, didn't have control over it at all. Back them, the dreaming took over and caused me to feel isolated and lonely. I don't want to every stop dreaming, but I want to have some amount of control about how much I do it and a good balance between dreaming and real. 

Comment by MatthewR on December 1, 2016 at 8:58pm

I agree with both Source and Alison. Real life can be a drag, but if you are given the choice, I'd say choose the physical world. I wouldn't give up my dd's, either, because they are a vital source of energy for me. I'm always deeply annoyed when someone interrupts my dd'ing. It's so freaking hard to get back into it, and in the end, I'm just so frustrated, because I feel like the moment is ruined. I also hate dressing up, because it takes so much effort and energy. It's like an all day affair for me, and it robs me of the time i might have spent dd'ing or doing something creative. But then again, I've dodged quite a few social engagements only to regret the subsequent impoverishment of experience. I'd say, if there is a chance at meaningful connection, no matter how slim, it's probably a risk worth taking. Good luck!   

Comment by Camoran on October 29, 2016 at 2:34pm

If annihilation of your daydreaming isn't necessary, seek balance between it and the outer world. Work towards reaching and/or maintaining a functional and stable situation. I personally suggest favoring the physical world when you have to choose between the two, but that's your decision to take.
But whatever you do, I warn you, do not ever allow the fantasy to overrun the reality. I made that mistake, and if you read my post from a couple of weeks ago you can see what it's done to me. Keep your eyes always clear, or you'll risk ending up blind.

Comment by Alison on October 29, 2016 at 4:28am
Hi! I want to say that I know how it feels - ofc in DDs it all feels much easier and more pleasant, becoz we do have control there. Even of we dd about not having control - we're still controlling it.

I dont want my DD to stop either, so we're on the same boat here. The only thing I'd like to say - dont replace reality with DD completely. Becoz in fact your view isn't very good for your stability. Just try to accept both worlds. Like this blind date. You can go there and if you see the guy isnt the right one, you can just leave. Reality gives you real emotions, no DDng can replace them.

My situation is like I combine reality and DD, and I like this way. I like the emotions I get in DDng, but it doesnt stop me from feeling things irl. But it was a long way for me to reach this state. I just mean I totally want my dd-ng to stay, as at this point of life it does me more good than bad.

Btw read about your violent DD-ng themes in another topic - I relate to that soooooo much, 100%. Mb thats the other reason why we dont want it to stop - our themes is something that we know is imcompatible with our real life.

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