Silver Swan's Blog (9)

Seeking more tangible things

I literally spent nearly 20 years day dreaming about needing a boyfriend, but just today, I feel that was a scary thing to do.

I don't know many people who've done this! They basically just payed attention to others and got the partner they wanted, in a super outgoing manner. I wonder if maybe I blocked myself from people too much by diving into MDD. I was never attracted to many real people throughout my life, as they weren't as favorable as my MDD characters. So, I wondered…

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Added by Silver Swan on August 16, 2018 at 11:07am — No Comments

Expressing yourself is everything

Everybody use to gossip about me and taunt me in school for a simple reason: I didn't talk at all. I was your shy awkward type who didn't ever fit in. I had a couple friends at a time, but not too many. Everybody else was extremely chatty, super outgoing and extrovert—"and neurotypical." I was the only student that had autism spectrum disorder, so I was challenged with communicating and interacting. So my school and college job experiences were rather traumatic. Even into my…

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Added by Silver Swan on August 13, 2018 at 12:17pm — No Comments

I discuss my life situations, but only in my MDD

Whenever I want to express how I feel about my life situations, I discuss them with imaginary friends, because they actually listen to me without getting snarky. I find that real people don't understand my form of language or they're like "Then, do something something about it." Actually, real people wonder why I've gotten into that situation in the first place, or they can clearly see what's evident, snip at me what's going to happen and what I better do in future. It's as if in…

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Added by Silver Swan on July 23, 2018 at 9:02am — No Comments

It shows

I don't know how you guys do it! I try everything to conceal my day dreaming. I will put on startled, worried, wary or perplexed expressions to hide it. I'll even move my eyes around and bite my lips. People will still look right at my eyes and maybe even into them! I guess, they still wonder what goes on in my head. If I make a slip up at home and even work, people will think, 'is she wondering?'

Added by Silver Swan on July 19, 2018 at 8:07am — No Comments

I've never left home, maybe MD

I've never moved out in my whole life. And I mean, on my independent own. I've have honestly never left home. I don't know if I should blame it on my maladaptive day dreaming. Has anybody had this problem? I'm 32 years old and have lived in the same house for 26 years! I didn't do too well in school and had countless jobs. It's just, maybe my DD interfered with things too much.

Added by Silver Swan on July 18, 2018 at 2:30pm — 3 Comments

MDD on your Brain Power

Has anyone's brain power got better or worse since they started maladaptive day dreaming?

I notice my cognition needs vase amount of improvement and is slower in comparison to my teens. I'm only in 30's, though it isn't as fast and strong as it once was.

Added by Silver Swan on July 13, 2018 at 6:54am — No Comments

Did MDD Impact your Real Life?

Has MDD effected your life to an extent it doesn't look as great as you planned? I expected to be independent by 25 or 30 and take on a job in a company, even do some traveling. Apparently, all my goals backfired, and I ended up living with parents and working in a job I don't care about. Also, I couldn't afford to go anywhere for years, and still can't today.

I wanted to take it on the economy and everyone's views on millennials. Though, I'm pretty sure everything didn't work…

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Added by Silver Swan on July 5, 2018 at 10:30am — 1 Comment

MDD made me look forward to a bright future

Since I was a preteen, I was complacent that I would see a bright future ahead of me. Well MDD prompted me to look forward to exciting things to come, such as seeing guys, traveling and a career that I like doing. My parents brought me up to feel 'special' and treated me to all sorts of trips, day camps, vacations, movies, Broadways and eat-outs. So, I believed that I would grow up having a really wonderful time just the same. Apparently, real life got the better of me and proved me…

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Added by Silver Swan on June 24, 2018 at 9:11am — No Comments

Has anybody been caught doing MD?

Has anybody been caught doing MD and their company became embarrassing, even angry, in a real overbearing way?

This could've been at school, work, home or anywhere in public. Were their reactions so tense that it made you be extra careful in future? How did you deal with it? I've worked at home for months, so I sometimes fear if I showed my face to a big crowd, hopefully they won't notice my dazed eyes, short attention span and lousy memory. Strangers have especially noticed…

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Added by Silver Swan on May 7, 2018 at 12:30pm — 4 Comments

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