Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest

Jessica Ballantyne
  • Female
  • Oakville
  • Canada
Share

Jessica Ballantyne's Friends

  • EntiWarmRock
  • Anna
  • Alexis S Silver
  • Vesta Harford
  • Rushikesh
  • Fallen Messenger
  • Jui
  • MatthewR

Jessica Ballantyne's Discussions

Maggie

Started 13 hours ago 0 Replies

I persuade myself to socialize to meet new people and I am boosting myself to actually get out there. However, I feel as if I'm still fighting between two worlds. That morning I was taking an…Continue

Solved mystery

Started on Wednesday 0 Replies

Now that I thought so hard about this...the pieces are all getting put together. It is a very long and devious story to explain what actually happened with my life. Every time I work, it's like I get…Continue

Wish I did it better

Started Aug 8 0 Replies

It beats me as to why I decided to start MDD. I can only guess, I wanted to escape my reality, because my suburban life was not exciting enough and the young kids in my school didn't appear…Continue

That's it?

Started Aug 6 0 Replies

My past so obscure as it is very hard to figure out. I spent my whole life being a notorious misfit. I expected to have a life like everybody else. Well, I didn't know I had autism spectrum disorder,…Continue

Gifts Received

Gift

Jessica Ballantyne has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift

 

Jessica Ballantyne's Page

Latest Activity

Jessica Ballantyne posted a discussion

Maggie

I persuade myself to socialize to meet new people and I am boosting myself to actually get out there. However, I feel as if I'm still fighting between two worlds. That morning I was taking an painting workshop, and the instructor gave us a fun painting activity, so as I dabbled watercolor on my plastic panel (what we need for roller-press printing) it began to form paw prints, but also a face of my dog Maggie, who passed away several months ago, during the holiday season. I didn't intend to…See More
13 hours ago
Jessica Ballantyne posted a blog post

Growing

I notice when my MDD dwindled and I began to get real, everything all just fell back to "Life itself."  Whereas, when I was into my dreams, sort of out of it, all swirly eyed, I was practically deluded. I had misleading and deceiving beliefs towards things that couldn't possibly be realistic to my true 'barefaced' consciousness. It started really kicking in when my family and peers got significantly unpleasant towards my irresponsible, inconsiderate and irrational actions pertaining to the…See More
Friday
Emily commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Lost Zone
"I know it can be hard to find your "true" self under years of a false being, the person you really want to be. I myself have started my journey of leaving behind my world so I can focus on myself now. Why live in fantasy when you can try…"
Thursday
Jessica Ballantyne posted a discussion

Solved mystery

Now that I thought so hard about this...the pieces are all getting put together. It is a very long and devious story to explain what actually happened with my life. Every time I work, it's like I get these messages from this invisible spiritual force. Anyway, I didn't realize I had Autism until I was 30. Before this, I believed I was just a 'timid odd-ball' or a 'shy awkward' who never fit in too well. I always wondered why everybody was so beastly mad or disgruntled with me. I never understood…See More
Wednesday
Jessica Ballantyne posted a blog post

Lost Zone

I think that I see what's wrong.....Because I day dreamed excessively for 20 years, the only life I ever knew exists inside my head....I only knew myself inside my head. In the real world, I have no life....I don't exist in reality....I'm currently not "somebody" at all. Seriously, I rarely speak a word to 'real life' people. I practically don't have an existing personality. So, I don't exist in reality to present living people. Therefore, I've never had any relationships up to this very day.…See More
Tuesday
Jessica Ballantyne posted a blog post

dreams don't manifest

I have idea if it was because of AUTISM. I look back at three decades. I smack my head and think, "what an idiot!" It was as if I was 'living in my own world.' Even if I was wide awake and here in this world, I ask myself, "Would I still have seen some differences? Wouldn't I have gotten some opportunities. What are the odds?" Of course, I knew a lot of jerks and bitches in my time. I can't help the fact many people can be jerks....especially to somebody as socially awkward and misfitted as…See More
Monday
Renee commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Vice Versa if only
"It's not too late.:)"
Aug 11
Jessica Ballantyne posted a blog post

Vice Versa if only

I think that I see why now. Why I never got anything I wanted. I never spoke up! I didn't ever socialize. I never got into people's faces. I lived in other worlds. I buried myself away from others. I mean, if people really want something, they go for it! They talk about it to others. They're socially open and active. Whereas, I was very shy. I am still shy today. I lost because I went to sleep. Then I was too scared to speak my mind....I didn't do this for a long time.See More
Aug 10
Alison liked Jessica Ballantyne's discussion Wish I did it better
Aug 10
Jessica Ballantyne posted a discussion

Wish I did it better

It beats me as to why I decided to start MDD. I can only guess, I wanted to escape my reality, because my suburban life was not exciting enough and the young kids in my school didn't appear interesting to me. Or I could have been more interested in my environment and my school peers if I had the courage to learn a lot more about them. I was a truly odd and eccentric child. A very shy and silent one at that. My peers couldn't tell if I was smart. They noticed I was socially cold and withdrawn…See More
Aug 8
Kim Katz replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion Just asking
"You are so right ! We are so hard with ourselves ... as well as with others ( at least it is my case) that is also why DD was  part of my life... nothing and no one was good enough and dreams were there to compensate. I hope you are better now.…"
Aug 8
Catauxgory replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion Just asking
"People are generally wrapped up in their own lives/concerns to have much opinion about people they don't know well, unless that other person is a celebrity; then people feel freer to judge and have opinions about them. I think daydreamers need…"
Aug 7
Jessica Ballantyne replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion Just asking
"At least people see the good in you. Some people see me at a positive glance too, but not always. I meet people who disagree with me all the time."
Aug 7
Catauxgory replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion Just asking
"What I find really difficult is that I'm the harshest judge of myself. People generally see me in a positive light. But I see myself so scathingly, because I know my true mind and I have a detailed picture of my daydream-filled life journey.…"
Aug 7
Jessica Ballantyne replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion Just asking
"Yes. Life does move on. Nobody could have seen or noticed what I faced. Somebody has, my mom. It was very mortifying. She thought that I was nuts."
Aug 7
Kim Katz replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion Just asking
"Hello Jessica, it is my case. is it yours as well ? kim "
Aug 7

Jessica Ballantyne's Blog

Growing

Posted on August 17, 2017 at 8:32pm 0 Comments

I notice when my MDD dwindled and I began to get real, everything all just fell back to "Life itself."  Whereas, when I was into my dreams, sort of out of it, all swirly eyed, I was practically deluded. I had misleading and deceiving beliefs towards things that couldn't possibly be realistic to my true 'barefaced' consciousness. It started really kicking in when my family and peers got significantly unpleasant towards my irresponsible, inconsiderate and irrational actions pertaining…

Continue

Lost Zone

Posted on August 15, 2017 at 10:01am 1 Comment

I think that I see what's wrong.....

Because I day dreamed excessively for 20 years, the only life I ever knew exists inside my head....I only knew myself inside my head. In the real world, I have no life....I don't exist in reality....I'm currently not "somebody" at all. Seriously,

I rarely speak a word to 'real life' people. I practically don't have an existing personality. So, I don't exist in reality to present living people. Therefore, I've never had any relationships up to…

Continue

dreams don't manifest

Posted on August 14, 2017 at 8:30am 0 Comments





I have idea if it was because of AUTISM. I look back at three decades. I smack my head and think, "what an idiot!" It was as if I was 'living in my own world.' Even if I was wide awake and here in this world, I ask myself, "Would I still have seen some differences? Wouldn't I have gotten some opportunities. What are the odds?" Of course, I knew a lot of jerks and bitches in my time. I can't help the fact many people can be jerks....especially to somebody as socially awkward and…

Continue

Vice Versa if only

Posted on August 10, 2017 at 5:30pm 1 Comment

I think that I see why now. Why I never got anything I wanted. I never spoke up! I didn't ever socialize. I never got into people's faces. I lived in other worlds. I buried myself away from others.



I mean, if people really want something, they go for it! They talk about it to others. They're socially open and active. Whereas, I was very shy. I am still shy today.



I lost because I went to sleep. Then I was too scared to speak my mind....I didn't do this for a…

Continue

Comment Wall

You need to be a member of Wild Minds Network to add comments!

Join Wild Minds Network

  • No comments yet!
 
 
 

© 2017   Created by Cordellia Amethyste Rose.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

Real Time Web Analytics

Clicky