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I feel like a complete idiot right now. My DD have been revolving around a celebrity for a while now, and I just recently found out that celebrity is in a relationship. It felt like a punch to the gut, and has actually been affecting my anxiety levels. It feels almost like a betrayal/breakup. 

I feel like I'm drowning in my DD and have lost a grip on reality. Any help?

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Hi! I've been a DD'r since I was a child and I can tell you I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes the emotions the DD evokes are so real. I recently began an intense DD involving a video game character and a new game was recently released with the same character but with huge changes to his looks and voice. It felt like my heart was broken and I actually felt angry about it! (I can just hear the young gamers snickering. Lol!) I have also experienced this with actors and singers. It causes my anxiety to be worse, too. Sometimes it feels like I've been hiding under a rock with only my DD's and when I have to go somewhere it's like stepping into bright light after being in darkness for a long time. It's an odd feeling and I have often felt like I was going crazy. I hope at helps to know you're not alone.

It does help. Thank you.

Kacey said:

Hi! I've been a DD'r since I was a child and I can tell you I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes the emotions the DD evokes are so real. I recently began an intense DD involving a video game character and a new game was recently released with the same character but with huge changes to his looks and voice. It felt like my heart was broken and I actually felt angry about it! (I can just hear the young gamers snickering. Lol!) I have also experienced this with actors and singers. It causes my anxiety to be worse, too. Sometimes it feels like I've been hiding under a rock with only my DD's and when I have to go somewhere it's like stepping into bright light after being in darkness for a long time. It's an odd feeling and I have often felt like I was going crazy. I hope at helps to know you're not alone.
You're not alone in feeling this way! I've definitely been there. My daydreams center around romantic relationships & the object of my affection is a character from either a movie or TV show that I've adapted to suit my needs. When I was younger, one of the actors I had been daydreaming about passed away suddenly. When I heard the news, it felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me. I was depressed for quite some time & mourned the loss as though it were someone I'd actually known. Thankfully nothing like that has happened again! With respect to my current daydream significant others, I purposefully avoid blogs/websites that discuss the characters/celebrities that play them. I also won't read fan fiction for the same reason. The content tends to upset me, so I find it's best to avoid it altogether. Not sure if this helps but I figured I'd at least let you know you're not the only one that goes through this type of thing.

I completely understand how you feel. I have felt this too a few times where I have daydreamed about a celebrity for a long time and suddenly they have a girlfriend. It tends to snap me back to reality and upset me as I realise I don't exist in their world but they are or part of them at least is part of mine.

I weirdly then find myself craving a replacement somebody new. I think sometimes about how much energy I put into my daydreams when that energy would be better placed finding a real life partner.

Too real for me. All my characters are celebrities. Some are very loosely based, some are pretty close, but I still get thrown off when they get into relationships like you said. And it makes no sense. I have to find a way to remind myself that your character is NOT the celebrity. You have complete control over your character, and it's great. You can borrow a celeb's looks, work, personality, past, whatever... but it is your character. And no matter what the real celebrity does, it can't effect what your character does (and obviously, you have no control over what they do).

That's what I focus on. It's bothered me a lot less lately. The characters that are loosely based off a celeb are easy, since they're so different. But I 100% know that feeling and it's insane and it doesn't matter and you did it to yourself, but it's real to you.

Good luck!

Hi. That "punch to the gut" you describe is a good metaphor for your emotional pain, and it is very real. Please know your not alone. I am 54 and MDD started with me at 3 years old, and usually involved music and movement,.combined with fantasies about my ideal self/life - sometimes celebs or TV characters but usually real people. One way this played out. Years ago I was deeply in love with a man at my church. Hours spent with MDD fantasies about "us" equaled a real emotional investment in the notion that we'd end up together. We were friends and I ignored all the evidence (plenty) contrary to my romantic aspirations. I usually hurried home from whatever I was doing - I couldn't wait to shut myself away with my music and dream of him. I even managed to checkout at work. It was easy. I did treatments at a spa, one client at a time and they usually slept. Then one Sunday he showed up with his fiance. My world bottomed out, and it was even more humiliating because evidently he knew of my deep unrequited crush - and so did others. I could not sleep and took off time from work, eventually leaving my church in horror and shame. I was 37 years old. Gradually I replaced MDD by burying myself in reality TV with my friends Bogle (red wine) and Ben and Jerry's. It was a bad, unhealthy time. Eventually I went back to college and in my spare time listened to the Great Courses online - turning to knowledge over daydreams. I also taught ESL. I am an introvert but this helped. My advice is find a creative or intellectual outlet. MDD leaves a void and it is difficult to just stop- I tried many, many times and failed. At 54, my MDD has almost disappeared but I am left with its residue: regret over lost opportunities, a social anxiety that has never abated, and job related challenges. Many of us have anxiety/and or depression. If you feel these things, find a good counselor and explore new insights and behaviors. Hope this helps, you have my best wishes and deep empathy.
I've actually used this technique myself & found it helpful! Reminding myself that my character is unique to the actor that protrays them. It's very comforting & self-soothing in a way.

Laura said:

Too real for me. All my characters are celebrities. Some are very loosely based, some are pretty close, but I still get thrown off when they get into relationships like you said. And it makes no sense. I have to find a way to remind myself that your character is NOT the celebrity. You have complete control over your character, and it's great. You can borrow a celeb's looks, work, personality, past, whatever... but it is your character. And no matter what the real celebrity does, it can't effect what your character does (and obviously, you have no control over what they do).

That's what I focus on. It's bothered me a lot less lately. The characters that are loosely based off a celeb are easy, since they're so different. But I 100% know that feeling and it's insane and it doesn't matter and you did it to yourself, but it's real to you.

Good luck!

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