Where wild minds come to rest
I thought MDD was informing me ahead of time that life will be fabulous. I was wrong. MDD totally ruined my whole life. It turned people against me, and not like me. Even my own family cannot agree with me. In fact their fed up, think I'm self-centered and bonkers. It leaves me all by myself facing a dilemma where people think I have a mental illness, and not sure that I am an appropriate friend. Seeing that I have Asperger Syndrome and I used to excessively daydream, this has become a killer on my life long goals, because the both together are not good. Could a' Would a' Should a'.
Honestly I feel the exact same way at times. I often find myself awkward, removed, and distant from my goals in real life and those things that matter to me the most. During those times, MDD feels especially toxic and like a huge burden that I cannot manage to get off my shoulders, and I desperately long to find a way out of the trap it puts me in. However, I strongly believe that this is not it for us. We CAN turn around no matter how much time and energy it seems that we wasted in our past. Our lives are worth whatever it takes to live them to the fullest. We can do this, and although the path won't be linear, we will eventually get to our goals and gain freedom from MDD if we're steadfast with our efforts. For me what helps is cultivating disciplines in real life such as exercise or learning a new hobby, and also journaling regularly whenever MDD hits. Meditation can also be a powerful tool in becoming more present. I wish you the absolute best of luck!!
My mind is getting clearer as I get older, because I now have lots of responsibilities. I think the more alert and concerned I am in a situation, the better I listen to people. I do pace myself every day and take full charge of life to the best of my endurance. Whether its taking a job very seriously, exercise at the gym, carrying on conversations on the news, being an older adult,
I cultivate these kind of disciplines to keep me in great shape.
Just to further continue with this discussion, if we view MDD as an addiction to certain thoughts or types of daydreams (for me it's almost exclusively to those thoughts and daydreams that feature me as "cool", accomplished, or powerful in the eyes of others), we can see MDD as something separate from ourselves and maybe gain a clearer view of removing its influence from our lives. I would say that a successful effort against MDD or any addiction for that matter requires a balance between spending time and energy learning about and specifically combatting the addiction, and investing time and energy to make real life better. For me, my dissatisfaction with my current social interactions and my accomplishments have greatly triggered my daydreams historically, so I often remind myself that those areas of my life will precisely improve if I work towards overcoming MDD.