Where wild minds come to rest
Every since I was young, I thought I could wing it with people. You know, make friends and go on dates. I had no idea that I was Atypical. Everyone else was neurotypical. So guess what, I didn't fit in at all. I did not look, sound and talk like anybody I've ever met. I was totally different and uncommon to my generation. SO, at home I'd DD about fitting into the crowd. When in reality people often judge me as very odd, Not OK, or not normal. They're reactions can be strongly op-positional, whereas in my DD I imagine that I get along fine with people. For instance, I wanted a boyfriend since I was 15 and was hoping to hook up with someone during college. I had no luck. Boys were hard to connect with. In fact,
I almost did hook up with a guy, however, he was 'so fast' on me in our first encounter that he made me nervous, so broke he it off, before our relationship even begun. He told me that I MUST have had so much trouble hooking up with people in my teens and 20's because I was nervous. So when I DD, I created a world where there is nothing wrong with me and others have no problem...and its easy to start a relationship with people I choose to like.
I feel you really. I also never fit in since my young age. I had no interest in mode and fashion or any "normal" things like everyone else. I was passionate by magic, witch and fairies. Manga, pokemon, video games... I would still walk around EVERYWHERE with my favourite plushie at 12. Luckily for me, I found some strange people like me and we became good friends. The thing is, despite the fact that I do have friends to support me, I DD a lot. I also thought when I was younger that when I could finally make friends, this would go away, but around 14, when I finally met these people, it didn't went away. I recently realized that the reason why is because I did not and still do not fully accept myself as strange and unique as I am.
As I read you I feel like you think that this might go away if you finally make friends. With my experience, it won't happen. I think you need to love yourself as whou you are first, even if it's really difficult. You say : I created a world where there is nothing wrong with me. Hey guess what ? There is nothing wrong with you.
Psst .. I still belive in magic... mouhaha
Really, you seem like a lovely person. I'm sorry you did not find anybody else close to be like you, but don't loose hope, they are somewhere.
I suggest you to go read this blog : https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com
I feel like I can relate to what you just said and I definitely did relate to this blog so you should go check it out.
Hope this help :)
Yeah, I am sort of a superstitious person myself. I believe in ghosts, spirits, witchcraft...etc. I read up on energy when I'm walking to certain locations outdoors...especially where there's history. Sort of have sixth sense and some prevision. I am a very unusual character, yes. Whatsoever, I do love myself for who I am. I believe I might do DD even when I meet a partner. I was born with it.
I guess the worst is...Listening and doing what I am told. This morning my mom thought I live in another galaxy. She sais everyday too. She told me to turn off the stove lights and the TV. Guess what, my was so preoccupied that I forgot and almost went up without doing what she wanted.
It isn't easy being a daydreamer, but I do accept myself anyway.