MD and (a)sexuality? - Wild Minds network2024-03-29T08:01:16Zhttps://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/md-and-a-sexuality?feed=yes&xn_auth=noI'v been experiencing waking…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2015-07-29:4661400:Comment:2115512015-07-29T01:39:00.135ZShadow Cat Samhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/ShadowCatSam
<p>I'v been experiencing waking dream states all the way back to itty-bitty hood. Some have a life of their own and some I control and or script. I'v had all kinds of immersive daydreams from an early age, including sexual. Pretty much anything and everything form the super freaky to the boringly mundane. </p>
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<p>My "real life" sexual behavior tends to be one end of the spectrum or the other and not much in between. By that I mean either a pseudo asexuality or sever hyper…</p>
<p>I'v been experiencing waking dream states all the way back to itty-bitty hood. Some have a life of their own and some I control and or script. I'v had all kinds of immersive daydreams from an early age, including sexual. Pretty much anything and everything form the super freaky to the boringly mundane. </p>
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<p>My "real life" sexual behavior tends to be one end of the spectrum or the other and not much in between. By that I mean either a pseudo asexuality or sever hyper sexuality. </p>
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<p>While some peoples asexuality may be related to an underlying condition or problem I don't think that of all or even most, any more than being gay is. </p>
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<p></p> No one has a girl, but they d…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2015-07-25:4661400:Comment:2107982015-07-25T15:00:09.320ZRoelhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Roel
<p>No one <em>has</em> a girl, but they do say it like that. As if you need to have a car, a house, a... and a girl. It annoys me a bit XD But they realy shouldn't judge people for "not <em>having</em> a gf/bf"! Judging someone because he/she struggles with love, that's seriously mean and disrespectful.</p>
<p>Haha, what you say about peer pressure, it's entirely the same for me. If I see everyone do something for no apparant reason besides "everyone does it." I don't do it. I even do little…</p>
<p>No one <em>has</em> a girl, but they do say it like that. As if you need to have a car, a house, a... and a girl. It annoys me a bit XD But they realy shouldn't judge people for "not <em>having</em> a gf/bf"! Judging someone because he/she struggles with love, that's seriously mean and disrespectful.</p>
<p>Haha, what you say about peer pressure, it's entirely the same for me. If I see everyone do something for no apparant reason besides "everyone does it." I don't do it. I even do little things to show that I'm not a sheep. For example I almost always wear brown, that's stupid, but I do it because no one else does that. And I like brown, I find it a beautiful colour fro some reason :p haha that might just be me.</p>
<p>Wouldn't call it a phobia in my case but I do understand that, and I keep the hell away from sigarets drugs an alcohol (I never dink). I already have this one filthy addiction, best not to add another one to the list. I'm probably very vulnurable to addictions if I already struggle with this one...</p>
<p>Never understood romance in movies either. Even a movie that is supposed to be only about love, is not romantic. Because you can not fall in love in little less than two hours, that is just not how it goes. It takes weeks-months, and in my case- years. A book gets a bit closer to it, but again, too short.</p>
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<p>Though I think there is nothing wrong with romance. i would do everything to experience it. It's just that my gender screw it up :/ This sound weird, but it seems awesome to me to be asexual and being able to fall in love without the sex :3</p>
<p><br/> <br/> <cite>Givera Givera said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/md-and-a-sexuality?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A210746&xg_source=msg_com_forum#4661400Comment210746"><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>Once again, word by word, I am exactly like you.</p>
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</blockquote> Once again, word by word, I a…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2015-07-25:4661400:Comment:2107462015-07-25T13:08:31.166ZGivera Giverahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/GiveraGivera
<p>Once again, word by word, I am exactly like you.</p>
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<p>A big politician was caught watching p**n on his phone in public. There was a column in the major newspaper next day where the writer defended him and wrote "Anyone who has access to it, watches it". And It seems like even infidelity is getting more common and talked about in a way as if it's not a big deal. Everyone believes love, sex, power, fame, money are things you cannot possibly be happy without. It seems like a lot of…</p>
<p>Once again, word by word, I am exactly like you.</p>
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<p>A big politician was caught watching p**n on his phone in public. There was a column in the major newspaper next day where the writer defended him and wrote "Anyone who has access to it, watches it". And It seems like even infidelity is getting more common and talked about in a way as if it's not a big deal. Everyone believes love, sex, power, fame, money are things you cannot possibly be happy without. It seems like a lot of people are pressured into wasting their time in those things regardless of what they originally wanted. "If you don't have a girl, you are pathetic or loser or whatever". Peer pressure has always had the opposite effect on me.</p>
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<p>Adding to all that I also have this thing. I cannot call it a phobia but it is very much like it. If a thing has any potential of becoming an addiction, I try my hardest to never do or even think of doing it. And also how most of the movies abandon valuable time that should be used for the plot and instead penetrate it with unfitting romance always made me see it in a negative way xD.</p>
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<p>And of course, as you said, there are lots of other reasons behind it.</p>
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<p><br/> <br/> <cite>Roel said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/md-and-a-sexuality?id=4661400%3ATopic%3A201436&page=2#4661400Comment210477"><div><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>There is no single...</p>
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</blockquote> There is no single reason, bu…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2015-07-25:4661400:Comment:2104772015-07-25T12:07:07.155ZRoelhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Roel
<p>There is no single reason, but rather a lot of tiny reasons. It's mostly because of myself though.</p>
<p>The biggest reason why I am like this, I THINK, is because my sexuality is in conflict with my selfimage. I want to be myself, but I don't see myself as sexual. I do things I don't want to do because of it, and I hate that. I realy don't care about sex, but than why is it always keeping me awake? Why am I suffering from it? I also have always looked down uppon "simple men" but I feel…</p>
<p>There is no single reason, but rather a lot of tiny reasons. It's mostly because of myself though.</p>
<p>The biggest reason why I am like this, I THINK, is because my sexuality is in conflict with my selfimage. I want to be myself, but I don't see myself as sexual. I do things I don't want to do because of it, and I hate that. I realy don't care about sex, but than why is it always keeping me awake? Why am I suffering from it? I also have always looked down uppon "simple men" but I feel like I am one of the biggest pervs myself. It hurts me, makes me insecure.</p>
<p>It also disturbs love. I consider myself to be very emotional, and I hate to hear others talking about relationships etc. as if it's all about sex. Why?! Love can be so beautiful (though it can be very painfull as well) and all people seem to care about is that filth. People are not supposed to fall in love because of their looks. I fall for inner beauty, but everyone I seem to meet only cares about the appaerance of the people they date. It frustrates me. How can something so beautifull dissapear in something so hideous?<br/>And like you say it, people even try to aim for it! They dress to look sexy, instead of showing their rich personality. Why?! Why would they do that! Have they no self-respect?! Don't they want to find someone who likes them because of who they are, instead of how big their breasts are, or how much mussles they have?! Worst of all, is that I fall for that crap. My eyes always wander off to "pretty" girls, and that makes me hate myself.</p>
<p>Also I hate how my own dreams take advantage of my emotions, how I dream of emotional and romatic stuff and get lured into "wet dreams" without noticing it at first because I'm clouded by loneliness.</p>
<p>I also need selfcontrol. I just want to not be a pervert, but somehow I always keep disapointing myself.</p>
<p>And than there is the media, that keeps shoving sexual themes into our face as a technique to catch customers/audiences. They keep reminding me of my struggles. I get no break from it.<br/>People talk about it like it's normal (It is actually normal, but I struggle with it and that's why I feel hurt if I hear people talk about it.), people even say stupid statements such as: "everyone watches porn" and you're weird if you don't do that. It should be the other way around in my head :/</p>
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<p>Deep inside I am a loving and peaceful person that knows who he is and can handle himself, I know that! But somehow I keep being someone else because of my sexuality and that is what hurts me the most.<br/>If you understand that :/</p>
<p>There's more that that, but these are the biggest causes, the rest are little things that wouldn't be bad if they were the only causes, but everything together with what I just told just becomes worse...</p>
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<p>In what country do you live? I'm from Belgium, they are very open there about sex. Not as open as in other countries, but still open enough to annoy me XD</p>
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<p><br/> <cite>Givera Givera said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/md-and-a-sexuality?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A210298&xg_source=msg_com_forum#4661400Comment210298"><div><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>Hey, sorry if you already wrote it somewhere in your posts, but can you describe me in detail the ideology or causes behind why you see sex the way you do, if you are aware of them?</p>
<blockquote cite="http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/md-and-a-sexuality?id=4661400%3ATopic%3A201436&page=2#4661400Comment210476"><div><div class="xg_user_generated"><blockquote cite="http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/md-and-a-sexuality?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A210602&xg_source=msg_com_forum#4661400Comment210602"><div class="xg_user_generated"><p><cite> </cite></p>
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</blockquote> Hey, sorry if you already wro…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2015-07-25:4661400:Comment:2102982015-07-25T11:17:11.661ZGivera Giverahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/GiveraGivera
<p>Hey, sorry if you already wrote it somewhere in your posts, but can you describe me in detail the ideology or causes behind why you see sex the way you do, if you are aware of them?</p>
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<p>Like for example I really don't know all of the exact causes but I think maybe one of them is the fact that I, and basically everyone else here, have suffered and have been deprived of many things because my country is overpopulated and no one wants to do anything about it. And that seemingly every…</p>
<p>Hey, sorry if you already wrote it somewhere in your posts, but can you describe me in detail the ideology or causes behind why you see sex the way you do, if you are aware of them?</p>
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<p>Like for example I really don't know all of the exact causes but I think maybe one of them is the fact that I, and basically everyone else here, have suffered and have been deprived of many things because my country is overpopulated and no one wants to do anything about it. And that seemingly every girl around me has completely become what the movies and the barbies told them to be.</p>
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<p>I feel that way, not just about sex but about romance and love and all the other stuff. But my DD's don't seem to care.<br/> <br/> <cite>Roel said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/md-and-a-sexuality?id=4661400%3ATopic%3A201436&page=2#4661400Comment210476"><div><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>Realy?! haha I'm so happy I'm not the only freak struggling with this XD so glad I'm not alone :D</p>
<p><br/> <cite>Givera Givera said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/md-and-a-sexuality?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A210602&xg_source=msg_com_forum#4661400Comment210602"><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>I'm exactly like you. Word by word.<br/><cite><br/></cite></p>
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</blockquote> Realy?! haha I'm so happy I'm…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2015-07-25:4661400:Comment:2104762015-07-25T10:15:33.490ZRoelhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Roel
<p>Realy?! haha I'm so happy I'm not the only freak struggling with this XD so glad I'm not alone :D</p>
<p><br/> <cite>Givera Givera said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/md-and-a-sexuality?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A210602&xg_source=msg_com_forum#4661400Comment210602"><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>I'm exactly like you. Word by word.<br/><cite><br/></cite></p>
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<p>Realy?! haha I'm so happy I'm not the only freak struggling with this XD so glad I'm not alone :D</p>
<p><br/> <cite>Givera Givera said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/md-and-a-sexuality?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A210602&xg_source=msg_com_forum#4661400Comment210602"><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>I'm exactly like you. Word by word.<br/><cite><br/></cite></p>
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</blockquote> I'm exactly like you. Word by…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2015-07-25:4661400:Comment:2106022015-07-25T06:47:35.114ZGivera Giverahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/GiveraGivera
<p>I'm exactly like you. Word by word.<br/> <br/> <cite>Roel said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/md-and-a-sexuality#4661400Comment201606"><div><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>It might be no help but... I'll share it anyway. Sorry if I bother you with this.<br/><br/>I'm not asexual, I am anti-sexual.<br/>The difference:<br/>...</p>
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<p>I'm exactly like you. Word by word.<br/> <br/> <cite>Roel said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/md-and-a-sexuality#4661400Comment201606"><div><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>It might be no help but... I'll share it anyway. Sorry if I bother you with this.<br/><br/>I'm not asexual, I am anti-sexual.<br/>The difference:<br/>...</p>
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</blockquote> I've been MDing since 7. Alth…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2015-07-12:4661400:Comment:2098972015-07-12T23:05:53.545ZCannahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Canna
I've been MDing since 7. Although they never have a sexual nature the fantasies are all about the opposite sex. I have borderline pesonality disorder, hetrosexual, and sexually active.
I've been MDing since 7. Although they never have a sexual nature the fantasies are all about the opposite sex. I have borderline pesonality disorder, hetrosexual, and sexually active. I have been struggling with t…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2015-07-12:4661400:Comment:2099662015-07-12T01:21:28.865ZSiriennehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Sirienne
<p>I have been struggling with this exact thing for the past year or so. I actually meant to start such a topic myself, once I finally got up the courage to join here and post.</p>
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<p>Until recently I always thought "asexual" just mean that you didn't have any sort of sex drive / libido at all, until I came across the more nuanced definition from AVEN and whatnot that says you can have a sex drive, but not have it "aimed" at anyone in particular and not be interested in actually…</p>
<p>I have been struggling with this exact thing for the past year or so. I actually meant to start such a topic myself, once I finally got up the courage to join here and post.</p>
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<p>Until recently I always thought "asexual" just mean that you didn't have any sort of sex drive / libido at all, until I came across the more nuanced definition from AVEN and whatnot that says you can have a sex drive, but not have it "aimed" at anyone in particular and not be interested in actually partnering with anyone. And that's the definition I came to identify with.</p>
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<p>As far as my real-life history, it is pretty accurate. I'm 30 and I've honestly never met someone that I was attracted to in the sense of wanting to pursue a romantic relationship with them. I had maybe 2-3 crushes in my middle school / early high school years on real people that were part of my day-to-day life, but even then it was a sort of "I want to admire them from afar" situation - I couldn't imagine myself being with them, I didn't even really want to be with them. I always see people joke about "hormonal teenagers" and whatnot, but I never really understood it because I never had that personal experience.</p>
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<p>I have fairly bad social anxiety as far as forming personal relationships with people goes. That's definitely a contributing factor as well, though I always see people mentioning they have social anxiety and then in the next sentence mention their spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/whoever, so obviously plenty of people out there are able to pursue relationships in spite of it. I tried signing up for a dating site once - went on one "date", and kept ignoring all the messages I got because it was too stressful and awkward to have to respond to them. That was a failed experiment. I had a few people who were interested in me - one I was friends with and eventually asked me if he would ever have a chance, and I had to respond "I don't know" because in all honestly I didn't know whether I would ever feel any sort of attraction to him or not. Another one was the only person who ever tried to kiss me, and I had my very first panic attack that night after I got home.</p>
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<p>My daydreams, however, are almost exclusively focused around alter ego me having a romantic relationship with whoever the person of interest is. They've been that way pretty much since puberty. Mostly it'll be a fictional character, but very rarely it'll be a celebrity which honestly kind of weirds me out a bit. I don't consciously choose these people, my brain just sort of latches on to them, sometimes out of the blue. I guess it's a form of having a crush in that sense.</p>
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<p>So what I'm really not sure of, does my lack of romantic interest / experience / whatever in real life come from genuine asexuality? Does it come from me being too wrapped up in the daydreams to be available to other people, or too invested in the sort of idealized relationship I can find there that doesn't really reflect reality? Or is it because of social anxiety and being too scared of the idea? I guess the thing that's most confusing is that I don't lack a sex drive in general, and daydream-me is obviously very interested in relationships, but real-me is sort of repelled by the idea. Where does the disconnect come from? </p> I must be very different than…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2015-03-26:4661400:Comment:2034642015-03-26T03:01:37.472ZSabrinahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Sabrina
<p>I must be very different than most. I have been an active DD since 6 yrs old. I have been lost in this at the expense of doing well in the real world. But my real world allowed me the time to live in my DD world. </p>
<p>I became heterosexually active in my DD life at age 10 and by 12 ....Wow ...the stuff I was into from then through my mid 30's. Gratefully, I had a husband then who thought a lot of what I was willing to do was his idea and I was obliqueing him. He never touched the top…</p>
<p>I must be very different than most. I have been an active DD since 6 yrs old. I have been lost in this at the expense of doing well in the real world. But my real world allowed me the time to live in my DD world. </p>
<p>I became heterosexually active in my DD life at age 10 and by 12 ....Wow ...the stuff I was into from then through my mid 30's. Gratefully, I had a husband then who thought a lot of what I was willing to do was his idea and I was obliqueing him. He never touched the top of what went on in my DD life.</p>
<p>I wish I had the "balls" to have 'really' tried more of my Dreams!</p>
<p>As I age (56), it is fading. I miss my DD life so VERY Much!!! Other than my kids, it was the best part of me!</p>