Wild Minds Network

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Hi,
I'm new here nice to meet you all.
I recently discovered about maladaptive daydreaming and everything finally made sense.
One thing I wanted to ask, have anyone of you experienced problems with love and relationships?
I'll explain better, I always wanted to fell in love and have a boyfriend, so much that I created various characters in my head to daydream about, but every time something real might happen, even if at the beginning I kinda felt something, I start to feel disgusted by the other person and go back immediately to the daydreams.
Has anyone experienced something similar?
(sorry if I eventually make some grammar mistakes, English is not my first language)

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Hi Jessica,

You mentioned you were 31 years old. I am 41. If it is any consolation, your high school peers who  are all married now, will start to get divorced in a few years!

I dont think the fact that you have fantasy crushes would prevent you from knowing when you meet a real guy that you really like. You know the difference between your daydream fantasies and real life. While you are waiting for the right person in real life, what is the harm in having  a daydream romance? Most people dont even have that. Imagine how boring THAT must be!

Yeah, thanks. Sometimes, things you observe on the internet are not always as they seem. I might as well enjoy my romantic fantasia, and to be honest, I still have them sometimes. It does take a while to wait for your real life mate to pop into the picture...some people wait several years.

Yes!  I think it is because I am disgusted really with myself, I can't and don't know how to be 'Me'....it's easier to have a relationship in a daydream where the man is perfect and understands me...and I am a nicer more attractive person...I often picture a celebrity I have seen in a movie as myself...another personality or different in appearance

I'm in a two year healthy relationship with someone although I MD. It's sometimes an issue but I've also learned to manage it naturally throughout my life (I'm only 16 btw). It's only an issue when I have days that I just lay in bed and listen to music but I've fully explained everything to him even before I knew of this coined term 'maladaptive daydreaming' and I've explained my characters to him. I'm also writing about them though, so I kinda have an outlet with them and a reason to discuss them the way I do. I actually recommend writing about your MD unless you WANT to get rid of it. I don't personally, I like it when it's controlled.

And he also knows of my main character who I see through having relationships as well which I usually feel weird about, but hey, sometimes you just have to break through embarrassing barriers. 

Hello Ele,

I have the very same problem. I am 22 years old and never had a boyfriend. I really want to fall in love with someone but I want them to be the man I created in my head which, I know will never happen. I really want to stop MDing and find a real partner. I truly hope that all of us meet that special person one day. I wish everyone the best and if you celebrate Christmas happy holidays. We will all somehow conquer this together.  Best wish's everyone.

From,

Aqua

I am 31 and never had a boyfriend. I too want to fall in love with someone who understands me. He doesn't even have to appear like a dreamy figment in my head. I want him to be real, and earthy too. Only trouble, in my reality, I keep on running into homely looking old joes that I don't find attractive. There's no connection and no spark between other people and me. Every year it is all the same, and I fall disappointed that nothing special changed for me, like finally entering a healthy relationship with someone who really cares about me. Most people instantly give it away, because they see I'm either scared, serious, not very talkative...or something else. It hurts that I can never find someone who agrees with me and stay with me for a long time.

@Prathiksha and Jessica Ballantyne 

don't worry you are not alone, I'm 23 and I've never been in a relationship unless it's something I've created myself. none of you is wrong or less than anyone else, we are just different. I know it's hard sometimes to see others have normal and healthy relationships, but I hope everyone here to feel better by knowing that they are not alone in the world... at least it helped me somehow.

Dee 

what you say kinda gives me hope, because ,being so addicted to daydreaming, I've always subconsciously thought that finding someone would have put an end tho that. and that freaked me out because dreams are my way to cope with anxiety and sadness, even tho they come with a bag of other problems. so knowing that is possible to be in a relationship and yet not lose this part of yourself it's a good news. thank you so much for sharing that.

I have had 1 significant relationship that ended over 5 years ago which only started as he was really confident and sort of pushed himself into my life (not in a bad way).
I use to daydream when we were apart about other relationships with mainly celebrities. It would get a lot worse when things were going wrong as it would help me cope. I can relate to what you are saying someone tried to set me up on a blind date and weirdly I kept thinking about my dd guy and how I didn't want to lose him and ended up making an excuse not to go.
It's scary being with someone in reality. The relationships in our head we can control everything. In real life there is no control our emotions are completely on the line.
I would like to meet someone in the future and be able to hold on to my dd guy until I feel I no longer need him.

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