Where wild minds come to rest
Help please! i'm a new member here. i only recently discovered that what i'm doing has a name! i've been making up a story in my mind since i was a child. Now that's not the problem. The problem is the story itself. I'm not daydreaming about success or love or anything .. in fact, i'm never a character or involved in any way in the story. It's about a prince who goes through all kinds of torture (physical, emotional, sexual).. and the scary thing is that I enjoy putting him in pain in the plots i make up. I never spoke about this to anyone. Am i totally messed up..?!
I've heard sadomasochism is a theme for many daydreamers. The majority are masochistic, where either the daydreamer or their alter ego is forced to endure painful circumstances. Some focus on suffering that is physical, emotional, and sometimes erotic. It just depends. Since it's just fantasy, i'd say you're alright.
Totally alright don't worry ;) My DD have a lot of this and my main DD characters ( which represent myself the most ) go through physical, emotional and sexual abused pretty often. It's fantasy and it's all right. It's perfectly healthy to have fantasy and if you didn't knew, rape is actually one of the most common out there. Yet, it doesn't mean that you would want to be rape or rape someone in real life ( for example ). If you have these kind of fantasy, I suggest you should go look for kinks, fetishes and even bdsm on Google. You will se that you are not alone at all and that should make you feel better about yourself
Totally normal, I always have a 'whipping boy' character, a good and decent person relentlessly tortured by people they thought they could trust for nothing they've done. Violence and sex, even though we don't talk about it as much, is common. The recent Parallel Lives study on MD addresses it a little bit, it's not a whole lot but here's the relevant part...
"Salient in our respondents' descriptions was the importance of experiencing negative affect during MD... Many respondents reported actively seeking the experience of aversive emotions. None of the interviewees described these fantasies as facilitating grief or as processing past trauma. Not only did their scripted upsetting imagery evoke negative feelings, they were also somehow enjoyable. This uniquely human phenomenon was termed 'benign masochism' or 'hedonic reversal' (Rozin, Guillot, Fincher, Rozin & Tsukayama (2013), an enjoyment of negative sensations and feelings thought to be possible in the context of feeling safe and reflecting pleasure at “mind over body.” "
As long as you can distinguish your daydream from reality, and aren't in danger of actually translating your fantasies to real life, you're OK. DD can actually be an effective way of coping with those kind of thoughts.