Does anyone know?

[A]

Do your friends or family know about your daydreaming? What are their feelings/reactions to it?

 

This is the only place where I can talk about my daydreaming. I've never told anyone and I'd be mortified if my family found out.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Oh geez, don't feel bad. I've tried to write down mine hundreds of times over the years, and it never works out. It's just because they're far too complex, which is probably a gift. Try not to think of it as there being something wrong with your explanations, but that your fantasies are so strong & creative that you just can't pin them down yet. It's very brave of you to talk about it at all.

Travis Malmin said:

I've told my girlfriend and some psychologists. I don't like disclosing the details of my fantasies. I told my girlfriend about some and I could tell by her replies that she didn't understand it completely. I wasn't mad or anything, but for some reason I felt terrible for not conveying it correctly. I wrote one down, but I didn't do a good job (everything was very convoluted) it sickens me to read it.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Poor thing! Well, just like understanding her own condition, she should really try & understand this one. I can't pay attention for more than a few seconds without drifting off. It doesn't matter who I'm with or what I'm doing. I hope she can learn to take this to heart.

Travis Malmin said:

She's very understanding about it (she has body dismorphic disorder so she knows what mental flaws are like), but she thinks I daydream because reality (and by association her) isn't good enough. She knows when I drift away and it hurts her feelings a lot.

[Michael Gibson]

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

Poor thing! Well, just like understanding her own condition, she should really try & understand this one. I can't pay attention for more than a few seconds without drifting off. It doesn't matter who I'm with or what I'm doing. I hope she can learn to take this to heart.

Travis Malmin said:

She's very understanding about it (she has body dismorphic disorder so she knows what mental flaws are like), but she thinks I daydream because reality (and by association her) isn't good enough. She knows when I drift away and it hurts her feelings a lot.

[Michael Gibson]

I've not told anyone until this last week. I mentioned it to my brother, he did not respond really. Our Oldest brother has a problem with excessive gaming, we (think,) and is unaware that there is a difference between what he makes up, and what is real. THAT is an interesting topic in itself. I did set a phone appointment with a counciler I've been to before (for other issues) and mentioned that she might want to do google 'Maladaptive Daydreaming,' and to particularly make note of Dr. Schupak's abstract on the subject before our session. She seemed interested. She's a lady I've come to trust, and hoping she 'does her homework' (!) I think it might be an interesting subject.
Like so many here, I've not wanted to share this with others, as there is so much trust involved.

Michael Gibson said:

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

Poor thing! Well, just like understanding her own condition, she should really try & understand this one. I can't pay attention for more than a few seconds without drifting off. It doesn't matter who I'm with or what I'm doing. I hope she can learn to take this to heart.

Travis Malmin said:

She's very understanding about it (she has body dismorphic disorder so she knows what mental flaws are like), but she thinks I daydream because reality (and by association her) isn't good enough. She knows when I drift away and it hurts her feelings a lot.

[Michael Gibson]

I meant an interesting session .. of course it's an interesting subject!

Michael Gibson said:

I've not told anyone until this last week. I mentioned it to my brother, he did not respond really. Our Oldest brother has a problem with excessive gaming, we (think,) and is unaware that there is a difference between what he makes up, and what is real. THAT is an interesting topic in itself. I did set a phone appointment with a counciler I've been to before (for other issues) and mentioned that she might want to do google 'Maladaptive Daydreaming,' and to particularly make note of Dr. Schupak's abstract on the subject before our session. She seemed interested. She's a lady I've come to trust, and hoping she 'does her homework' (!) I think it might be an interesting subject.
Like so many here, I've not wanted to share this with others, as there is so much trust involved.

Michael Gibson said:

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

Poor thing! Well, just like understanding her own condition, she should really try & understand this one. I can't pay attention for more than a few seconds without drifting off. It doesn't matter who I'm with or what I'm doing. I hope she can learn to take this to heart.

Travis Malmin said:

She's very understanding about it (she has body dismorphic disorder so she knows what mental flaws are like), but she thinks I daydream because reality (and by association her) isn't good enough. She knows when I drift away and it hurts her feelings a lot.

[Ana Suau]

I once tried to tell my then best friend, years ago, but it was all very uncomfortable, specially since I then thought I was the only one who did that and that something was very wrong with me, and I felt so worried and guilty about it thinking I was the only one with that gift/curse. I don't know what hit me to try to tell her, we were just having dinner at a restaurant and for some illogical reason I felt the urge to try to tell her, but I couldn't express myself right, neither I had the back-up that I have today with this place and the fact that some professional has gotten interested in our peculiarity, maybe, hopefully creating the base for future or present, wider research on the matter.

And frankly, it's not just that my friend and I grew up to be very different persons to what we were when we met when we were kids (I was “normal” then, at least on the surface, cos' I already daydreamed then, but I wasn't self conscious about it), but also, she is... peculiar, as in she is so “normal” than anything out of the ordinary doesn't make any sense to her and she won't even try to understand it, she just thinks it's weird, not “normal” and so not positive.
So well, the whole conversation ended fast, as I felt very embarrassed and regretted having said anything. Fortunately she let it go (I guess she was freaked out or though I was just making the whole thing up cos' I was strange and that's what weird people do) and I learned the lesson.

So, considering she didn't take it seriously and probably forgot it right away, nobody knows, and I can't tell anyone (and honestly I don't know if I' want to let anyone know about it, I feel it's so mine and personal, it would feel like a violation of my inner me), I couldn't even tell the psychologist I went to see briefly last years during my thankfully brief but intense insomnia episode, because if you guys in the U.S.A. think you have it bad think about how people from other countries, like in my case, Spain have it, if in your country specialists that should help you a lot of times don't even try to understand our “problem”, in Spain I fear is even worst, because research in all fields always arrives much later, specially when it come to psychology, I believe psychologists here depend of what your researchers do, so they're always a step behind. So I don't even dream, these days, of finding a psychologist or psychiatrist that could help me deal with it.

Neither I would dream about telling my mother, she is great, but thinking about earlier attempts to tell her about other things, I know she would just freak out and start to cry thinking is her fault for overprotecting me.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

I've told many people, and here's been the key:
Instead of coming at it from a point of view that there's something wrong with you that you want to share, approach it from the point of view that "Here's something about me you don't know. It's really involved & really interesting. It takes a lot of energy and makes my life really hectic. Let me educate you about it."
We must stop acting like we're defective. People are going to assume this just from the expressions on our faces. It doesn't matter what we say after that. I know it's tough, and for some reason we're all super embarrassed.......but with practice, we can learn to speak more confidently. Remember that this can be a gift as well. It means we're very creative. It also means we're used to thinking a lot of things at once. Our brains move very quickly, which probably makes us smarter. Also remember there are lots of people like us, so we're not freaks. Our brains just work differently.
Good for you for having the courage to say something. That part alone is really difficult. It just takes practice. You don't have to do anything before you're ready, but try to remember what I said the next time. I don't want anyone looking at you like you're defective. They can't possibly know about this on their own, so you have to show them how this makes you smarter & even better than they knew before. Good luck. We're always here for you.


Ana Suau said:

I once tried to tell my then best friend, years ago, but it was all very uncomfortable, specially since I then thought I was the only one who did that and that something was very wrong with me, and I felt so worried and guilty about it thinking I was the only one with that gift/curse. I don't know what hit me to try to tell her, we were just having dinner at a restaurant and for some illogical reason I felt the urge to try to tell her, but I couldn't express myself right, neither I had the back-up that I have today with this place and the fact that some professional has gotten interested in our peculiarity, maybe, hopefully creating the base for future or present, wider research on the matter.

And frankly, it's not just that my friend and I grew up to be very different persons to what we were when we met when we were kids (I was “normal” then, at least on the surface, cos' I already daydreamed then, but I wasn't self conscious about it), but also, she is... peculiar, as in she is so “normal” than anything out of the ordinary doesn't make any sense to her and she won't even try to understand it, she just thinks it's weird, not “normal” and so not positive.
So well, the whole conversation ended fast, as I felt very embarrassed and regretted having said anything. Fortunately she let it go (I guess she was freaked out or though I was just making the whole thing up cos' I was strange and that's what weird people do) and I learned the lesson.

So, considering she didn't take it seriously and probably forgot it right away, nobody knows, and I can't tell anyone (and honestly I don't know if I' want to let anyone know about it, I feel it's so mine and personal, it would feel like a violation of my inner me), I couldn't even tell the psychologist I went to see briefly last years during my thankfully brief but intense insomnia episode, because if you guys in the U.S.A. think you have it bad think about how people from other countries, like in my case, Spain have it, if in your country specialists that should help you a lot of times don't even try to understand our “problem”, in Spain I fear is even worst, because research in all fields always arrives much later, specially when it come to psychology, I believe psychologists here depend of what your researchers do, so they're always a step behind. So I don't even dream, these days, of finding a psychologist or psychiatrist that could help me deal with it.

Neither I would dream about telling my mother, she is great, but thinking about earlier attempts to tell her about other things, I know she would just freak out and start to cry thinking is her fault for overprotecting me.

[Ana Suau]

That is a great piece of advice! I find it amazing how some of you, in seconds, have managed to give me a new perspective on some key questions for me that I had never thought of (and it makes me feel a little silly), in this case, I mean, sure there are problems associated with our peculiar ability, but it's also creative and fascinating, so I realized that in my case in the near future I might feel ready to tell to a couple of, what I guess you could call friends, about it, but just because I know they'll specially enjoy the creative implications of it all (one of them has painting as a hobby and the other is an amateur writing, although I'm positive unfortunately she isn't a daydreamer) and it'll be easier for them and for me, so in my case it's just a matter of selling it to the right people in a positive light so they won't pity me or be scared of me, I love the idea of “educating” some acquaintances on the matter, I really hope I can make those 2 friends understand it.

Thanks Cordellia for giving me the confidence, right now I'm feeling very good and positive about my daydreaming.

[Sophia Miller]

i agree with Cordelia yet i do find it hard to talk about except here. no one i know knows i have this.

[Lady Shhh]

No i have never spoke about it to anyone. But my mother notices. I catch her looking at me funny when im in my 'trance'. I think shes starting to feel uncomfatable around me. Also im becoming really boring company. I would rather live in my own head sometimes! its bad! Ive recently started college again as an adult learner but my constant day dreaming is interferrin with it. A few of the younger students have noticed my i go into my own world and have started calling me weirdo! ive got a good sense of humour so i have banter back with them but it does cut me where it hurts!

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

You are not a weirdo. That's not nice and not fair. Our brains function differently, and it comes with many gifts as well. I know it can be tough to talk about, so don't feel pressured to do so until you're ready...........but it feels better to live openly, trust me. I've posted some tips on here for how to approach it. It makes a difference how yo do it. If you approach it like there's something wrong with you, they're bound to think that. If you approach it like it's something unique and fascinating about you, they look at you in a whole different light. Everyone I tell is fascinated and wants to know more. Be strong. We're here for you.



Lady Shhh said:

No i have never spoke about it to anyone. But my mother notices. I catch her looking at me funny when im in my 'trance'. I think shes starting to feel uncomfatable around me. Also im becoming really boring company. I would rather live in my own head sometimes! its bad! Ive recently started college again as an adult learner but my constant day dreaming is interferrin with it. A few of the younger students have noticed my i go into my own world and have started calling me weirdo! ive got a good sense of humour so i have banter back with them but it does cut me where it hurts!

[Penguin]

Might as well reply.

No, haven't told anyone, will never tell anyone IRL, don't even think of telling anyone.