Does anyone know?

[A]

Do your friends or family know about your daydreaming? What are their feelings/reactions to it?

 

This is the only place where I can talk about my daydreaming. I've never told anyone and I'd be mortified if my family found out.

[Feng]

I'm like you. I've never told anyone anything about this. I'm always afraid that they won't believe me or think differently of me.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

I agree that it may be beneficial to wait until you at least have an action plan. No one has to tell anyone anything until they're ready. It's funny how it always feels like people are going to find out, doesn't it? The chances are pretty slim unless you tell them. If you want to & need help, send them here. Then at least they'll have some information about it & will know you're definitely not alone. Let me know if I can help.

[Alice Bassett]

Unfortunately, my family has not been supportive. They know about it and they think I'm nuts, yet they don't treat me like a nut and they don't try to get help for me or encourage me to get help; they "hold it against me." When your intimates are composed of people who don't love you or who hate you, they feel elated that you have a "character flaw" and they assume that you have some kind of control over it. It's almost like being crazy is a choice. My advice is to take stock of the character of the people around you and try to determine if they are compassionate or competitve before you share your soul with them. Chances are, that even the kindest people will not take your problem seriously because to them, daydreaming is harmless and they just won't understand the gravity of the situation.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

That's TERRIBLE! I actually stopped talking to any members of my biological family 8 years ago. I never felt any connection to them, and they always did nothing but judge me for anything & everything. They never learned about the maladaptive daydreaming, but I'm CERTAIN they would've reacted the exact same way yours did. It's true that most people probably think this is completely harmless. That's why I'm telling my story. This isn't just an innocent pass-time. It's like wine. Some people can have a glass & be fine. Good for them, but for those who can't the consequences can be VERY serious. I agree that you should not be around people who do nothing but make you feel bad about yourself. Good for you for standing up for yourself. I say better alone than in poor, abusive company. Stick to those who help you be a better YOU.

Alice Farll said:

Unfortunately, my family has not been supportive. They know about it and they think I'm nuts, yet they don't treat me like a nut and they don't try to get help for me or encourage me to get help; they "hold it against me." When your intimates are composed of people who don't love you or who hate you, they feel elated that you have a "character flaw" and they assume that you have some kind of control over it. It's almost like being crazy is a choice. My advice is to take stock of the character of the people around you and try to determine if they are compassionate or competitve before you share your soul with them. Chances are, that even the kindest people will not take your problem seriously because to them, daydreaming is harmless and they just won't understand the gravity of the situation.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

P.S. If they try to judge you again, feel free to send them here. I can even meet them here to chat if you want. I'll tell 'em! This is not a game. I applaud you for having the courage to speak up and urge you not to give up just because they were mean to you. Keep fighting back. :)

[Magenta]

I cannot recall the actual conversation that gave way to my disclosure, but I did tell one very close friend about my daydreaming several years ago. They were not privy to the actual content of my daydreams, nor the massive amounts of time I spent doing it, however. My confession yielded a supportive reaction from my friend. A few questions were asked out of curiousity's sake, but nothing judgemental. I have absolutely no intention of telling anyone else, simply because the notion to do so never struck me as being necessary. I wish I could remember why I told someone about it in the first place! In my humble opinion, it takes great courage to bare your soul and reveal something like this to other people. My intense fear of making myself vulnerable is a good indicator I won't ever do it again.

[Will]

Trust me there things with way worse social stigma than daydreaming and many people on here including myself would not say its a completely negative thing... no not at all... Keep in mind, the hard part may be getting them to actually see it as a big of a problem as it is for you. Another thing to think about, (although it may not be exactly the same thing) societies awareness of things like ADD / ADHD may make this easier for your family to understand.

Second, and I realized this about a year ago, maybe try seeing conversations about daydreaming as a goal to reach, and only a goal that can be reached with certain people who really matter! Both you and who ever you are trying to talk to need to step to the plate to make this happen. Once you find that you can trust someone to hear you out, you'll realize that you've taken that relationship to another level and it's is a tremedous relief to get this sort of thing off your chest. Talking about things here can help, but it really feels good to be able to talk to someone you know in "real" life, friends, family etc...

If it helps, you can always start off safe and feel things out with whomever you are trying to talk to... For example, try something simple like "I've been having a hard time concentrating lately.. it seems like my mind's been wandering a lot lately..." See where that goes, see how they react to that... you can always back out of it. I found that finding the "right" time, is often just as important as "how" you talk about it....

[Libby]

Hi guys. I'm Libby. I'm glad to have found you all.
Anyway, My family has no idea. After I completed Cynthia's survey, I felt uplifted and inspired. Everything felt different. I started thinking...It has a name now. There is a professional studying it. And (this is my favorite part) there are other people who do this, and I have found them all over the internet. :) I recognized myself differently than ever before...not crazy! So this inspiration led me to casually mention some vague statements to my husband about it. He simply said, "Baby, everyone knows you're a nut." and then he poured himself a coke. He didn't really get my "casual and vague statements."
That was pushing my comfort level to the max to be honest. I doubt he will ever know if it's up to me to spill it.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

This is so great! Thanks for sharing!

Libby said:

Hi guys. I'm Libby. I'm glad to have found you all.
Anyway, My family has no idea. After I completed Cynthia's survey, I felt uplifted and inspired. Everything felt different. I started thinking...It has a name now. There is a professional studying it. And (this is my favorite part) there are other people who do this, and I have found them all over the internet. :) I recognized myself differently than ever before...not crazy! So this inspiration led me to casually mention some vague statements to my husband about it. He simply said, "Baby, everyone knows you're a nut." and then he poured himself a coke. He didn't really get my "casual and vague statements."
That was pushing my comfort level to the max to be honest. I doubt he will ever know if it's up to me to spill it.

[phoenix62]

Other than professionals forever ago?
No. No one.
Except you all;0)

[Nomad]

I've told many people that I'm addicted to fantasy, but I've only given one person the details. In 1994, I wrote down a bunch of my fantasies and read them to my "sponsor" as part of my twelve step program. I was sooo embarrassed, but she was very supportive and told me I should take my stories to Hollywood. I hoped that revealing my fantasies would help me let go of them, but that didn't happen. Still, I'm glad at least one person in the world knows everything about me.

When my husband and I first started dating, I told him that I fantasized obsessively, but we've never discussed it (we've been together since 1991). At the time, he asked me a few questions, but I was evasive because I was embarrassed, and he didn't push it. I think another reason I didn't give him much information was that I wanted to protect my fantasy world. If somebody I lived with knew the details, I reasoned, then my fantasy life would be threatened. Happily, since I've been visiting this site and the Yahoo forum, my fear is lessening. I see what intelligent, creative, conscientious people we are, so I feel less ashamed. When I read something I like, I discuss it with my husband, and he seems interested. He especially liked Marka's story about trying to give up her Ipod because he's seriously into his Ipod. So thanks, Marka, for giving me and my husband some common ground :)

[Kathleen Taylor]

I would never tell anyone about my daydreaming! I have told my therapist that I have recently remembered daydreaming a lot in elementary and high school, and we discussed that briefly, with her saying that it made a lot of sense for me to create a world that was more nurturing to me. But I don't want to tell her that I've always done it and that right now it is excessive.