All Discussions Tagged 'change' - Wild Minds network2024-03-28T22:38:45Zhttps://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topic/listForTag?tag=change&feed=yes&xn_auth=noI feel like I am losing my kid to Maladaptive Daydreaming-Need guidancetag:wildminds.ning.com,2019-05-14:4661400:Topic:3398132019-05-14T23:01:26.230ZMartha Bozichttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/MarthaBozic
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">I have a 12-year-old who is extremely bright and creative, but I am feeling helpless and like I am losing him to the realms of maladaptive daydreaming.</span></p>
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<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">He seems to engage in this activity now more than ever and it takes up hours of his day. He has done this since he has been a small child to some extent but never more than now.…</span></p>
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<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">I have a 12-year-old who is extremely bright and creative, but I am feeling helpless and like I am losing him to the realms of maladaptive daydreaming.</span></p>
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<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">He seems to engage in this activity now more than ever and it takes up hours of his day. He has done this since he has been a small child to some extent but never more than now.</span></p>
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<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">He has some anxiety issues (extreme fear of embarrassment and other specific triggers) but not overwhelmingly so.</span> <span style="font-size: 14pt;">He is an introvert and many of his daydreams feature himself in a powerful role.</span></p>
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<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">He has had some issues in the past with addiction to video games (which we have completely eliminated) and reading books and now Maladaptive daydreaming. Now I think the books give him material for the daydreams. He gallops from one end of the apartment to the other. It seems to be spreading and taking over his life like a cancer to the point that he is really resistant to doing anything else and can hardly wait to come home from school so he can engage in this (for hours by himself).</span></p>
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<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">At school, he read a lot (unrelated to class assignments) which kept him quite isolated and he was not participating in class and interacting with other kids. He just started junior high this year so new school, different set up, etc. So, I e-mailed all of his teachers to be on board with no outside reading assuming that he would by default start engaging more. But teachers reported the same thing.</span></p>
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<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">So I asked him if he has started daydreaming in school and he admitted that he was. Instead of pacing or galloping like he does at home, at school he is able to sit in a chair and swing his legs back and forth and this is enough repetitive motion to propel him into his maladaptive daydreaming.</span></p>
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<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">He told me “You see one thing just replaces the other. You took away video games and I replaced it with reading. You took away reading and I replaced it with daydreaming. Now there is no way you can take this away unless they invent mind control, which they haven’t”. His words seared me and truly showed how powerless I am in this.</span></p>
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<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">I’ve had him see the social worker at school to work for help in being able to connect more, but he did not mention anything to him about his daydreaming because he is actually afraid they would give him a medication to make it “go away” and he does NOT want that.</span></p>
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<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">He refuses to see any negative consequences in this either short term or long term. He is highly resistant to letting this go even a little. It is negatively impacting his life (he has only one friend and is loath to engage in most activities) and he does not view this shrinkage of his life as a problem. He is “happy” in his growing isolation and I can’t convince him otherwise.</span></p>
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<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">I am reaching out for any guidance in this, root causes to address, and any help or advice at all would be greatly appreciated. What has helped?</span></p>
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<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Gratefully,</span></p>
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<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Martha</span></p>
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<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> </span></p> Should I change something about the site?tag:wildminds.ning.com,2011-05-12:4661400:Topic:247122011-05-12T21:46:13.701ZCordellia Amethyste Rosehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/CordelliaRose
<p>Ning has offered a lot of new features since I first started this site over a year ago. It's in my nature to be very cautious against change, but I thought I would give you guys a place where you can voice your opinion. Everyone is able to change their individual page themes. Are there any that you like better? Do you like this one, or would you rather I change it? What about the colors? I'll only change if a bunch of people are in favor of it because I really don't want to cause a…</p>
<p>Ning has offered a lot of new features since I first started this site over a year ago. It's in my nature to be very cautious against change, but I thought I would give you guys a place where you can voice your opinion. Everyone is able to change their individual page themes. Are there any that you like better? Do you like this one, or would you rather I change it? What about the colors? I'll only change if a bunch of people are in favor of it because I really don't want to cause a drastic change without warning people and making sure they're ok with it. Are there other things you would change? What features do you like the most? Are there some you think aren't necessary? You can message me directly your input or post it here. I want this place to be a fun place to hang out and a safe place to express whatever you'd like. :)</p>
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<p>Also, I know I can be kind of cranky sometimes. I hope no one takes this personally. I just use this place as a safe place for me to vent and scream as well. We all need to do that sometimes. I really appreciate all my site members. You guys inspire me with your kindness and creativity every day. </p>